Here is a concrete step you can take to help better yourself, and Stanislaus County

As a daughter of immigrants, I have taken for granted the responsibilities of my citizenship. These responsibilities were not read to me when I was born on American soil to Mexican parents, and I never once have had to recite them as a testimony of my commitment to this country. I have pledged allegiance to the flag of the United States of America countless times without stopping to think about what it really takes for this nation to remain one, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.

And what does it take? I have found that the answer is both simple and complex. It takes me. It takes you. Reflecting inward — being aware of our biases and prejudices, practicing empathy, being grounded in our truths — so that we can allow ourselves to be uncomfortable and to engage in difficult conversations. I believe this inward work is a prerequisite to policy work in democracy.

Each year, we make new year’s resolutions out of hope that we can do and be better. I love this because it is so human. We are not perfect, but we strive for our ideals. What if we took this practice and applied this courageous commitment to our community? What if we all made civic resolutions?

I have a hypothesis that by making civic resolutions we can better ourselves by bettering each other.

A simple way to test this hypothesis is volunteering. The Washington Post published a lifestyle article titled, “Want to be happier? Try volunteering.” It highlights the results of a study in which researchers examined data from about 70,000 people in the UK. It found that people who volunteer became happier over time due to three factors — volunteering is naturally rewarding, it boosts a sense of social connection, and it can help build leadership skills.

There is a fourth reason — when we act in kindness with one another, we are acting toward a common destiny. It is this idea that we are all interconnected and share a future. To advance from the idea that we are rugged individuals going at it alone, there needs to be an entire culture change; there needs to be a movement of the heart.

It’s hard to hold ourselves accountable as we move through the twists and turns of life. A text online offers suggestions on how to keep a New Year’s resolution:

• Seek support from others.
• Create a reward system for yourself.
• Have compassion for yourself. Take a deep breath and keep trying.

But what if it read like this:

• Support others.
• Reward others.
• Have compassion for others. Take a deep breath and keep trying.

By shifting our focus outward, we build a network of accountability. It’s like having an exercise buddies, but now you have civic buddies.

It’s easy these days to slip into our own selfish desires, to feel offended, to feel bitter. But to thrive as a community we must support each other, we must reward each other, and we must have compassion for each other. What could our communities look like if we all acted in deep care?

Making a civic resolution drives us to acknowledge our role in the collective.

Has anyone experienced the disappointment of spending hours hanging Christmas lights, only to plug them in and they do not light up? Often, all it takes is just one tiny bulb not functioning to break the current of electricity. The same goes with our participation in our communities. Now, I know that these days, Christmas lights are fancier, and some can function with a broken bulb, but how much brighter could we be together if we all decided to show up and work?

Making a civic resolution allows us to stop and reflect on where our community is at this moment and how we can improve it.

Reflection calls on us to find time to be still with our thoughts, to make sense of a spaghetti bowl of experiences, and to relate those experiences back to society. In 2020, we found ourselves in a constant state of reaction. Let’s give ourselves the gift of reflection — to think and talk about not just our successes, but our mistakes as well.

As a mom, I often tell my boys, who are 3 and 6, that we learn by making mistakes. I feel like we tend to forget this as adults. It is as though the older we get, the more our mistakes start to feel like something ugly. But it is OK — if we can recognize it, and talk about it, and then imagine a better way forward.

Let us question and reckon together so that we can then imagine together and begin to shape a more perfect Stanislaus.

Martha Flores, mflores@stanislauscf.org, works at Stanislaus Community Foundation. This is an excerpt of an address she delivered Dec. 12 at Stanislaus County’s first virtual Civic Saturday. The next Civic Saturday is scheduled for Feb. 27.

This story was originally published January 31, 2021 at 4:00 AM.