Draveckys deliver message of hope

Dave Dravecky was at the top of his game in 1988, pitching a 5-1 season opener for the San Francisco Giants against the Los Angeles Dodgers. Then doctors found a cancerous tumor in his pitching arm and removed it, along with 95 percent of his deltoid muscle. Doctors told him that outside of a miracle, he would never pitch again.

That miracle came, though, and less than a year later, the crowd was on its feet, cheering for the comeback pitcher who led the Giants to a 4-3 win. But five days later, while pitching in Montreal, people in the stadium and around the world heard his arm snap during a pitch. Later, doctors determined the cancer was back, and amputated his arm to save his life.

He later wrote in his book, "When You Can't Comeback," about his loss:

"My arm was to me what hands are to a concert pianist, what feet are to a marathon runner. It's what made me valuable, what gave me worth in the eyes of the world. The suddenly, my arm was gone."

The loss of Dave's arm didn't affect just Dave. His wife of 10 years, Jan, hit also with the sudden deaths of her parents, had to find a new way to live. Both struggled with severe depression. Now, on the other side of their "wilderness days," they have formed a nonprofit organization called Endure to help others find hope in the midst of difficult circumstances.

They will be in Turlock on May 13-16 to share their inspirational stories.

Jan is the featured speaker for the 17th annual Turlock Mayor's Prayer Breakfast. She spoke with The Bee from her Colorado home about her life with Dave, her spiral downward and her faith, which pulled her back through hope.

Here's what she had to say:

Q: How did you and Dave meet?

A: We were both born and raised in the suburbs of Youngstown, Ohio. We went to arch-rival high schools. We met when we were 15; I was dating his friend and he was dating several of my friends. When his friend broke my heart when I was 16, Dave came knocking on my door. We dated through college.

Q: What attracted you to him?

A: Before we started dating, my mom would say to me, "What about that Dave Dravecky? There's something different about him." I'd say, "He's a cocky athlete. I would never be interested in him." But I found out she was right. He was different. It was his heart. He's never been malicious in any way. He's got a heart for God, a heart for his family. He's real."

Q: What was it like when he was drafted after college?

A: I never wanted him to play pro ball. When we were in college, he threw a no-hitter without me realizing it. I was sitting in the stands, reading a book. I wanted to be married in Youngstown, Ohio. I wanted to have children and raise them all in Youngstown. And he wanted to play a little boy's game. Baseball was not what I wanted him to pursue.

We were engaged when he was drafted. I can remember that everyone was so excited except for me. I like the security of having a home, and I knew that baseball wasn't going to offer that. But I got married because I love him.

It was so hard for me to live in Buffalo, N.Y. after we were married. My mom said, "Your place is with your husband. You have to go where he leads." And so I did.

I really adapted. We were married and in the minor leagues for four years. That was a wonderful time. We made lifelong friends along the way."

Q: What happened when he was called up to the majors?

A: He was called up two days after the birth of our first child, Tiffany. I was still in the hospital. I was so upset. Five of us in our group were pregnant. We were in Hawaii. It was going to be a wonderful summer. And then he wasn't even there for her birth. He was playing in Phoenix and missed her birth by an hour and a half. We followed him to San Diego six days after she was born.

But when she was 4 weeks old, I was able to go home and see my parents. That was special, because we couldn't afford to fly home in the minor leagues, but I could now that he was in the majors. Then he pitched for the first time in Cincinnati. My parents, Dave's parents, Dave's brother and his wife had all gone down to see him. While Dave was warming up in the bullpen in the seventh inning, my mom had a heart attack and died. He got his first save that night while they were trying to revive her. They didn't even tell Dave until the end of the second game in the doubleheader.

Q: What was life like for you before you found out Dave had cancer?

A: Life was good. Dave's career just took off. In 1983, he was in an All-Star game. In 1984, we were in the World Series. In 1985, our son, Jonathan, was born. We were traded in 1987 to San Francisco. At first, I was really upset; I'm not one for change. But when I got to San Francisco, it was just awesome. We made greater friends. It was a wonderful experience.

Q: How did you feel during his first comeback game? Were you in the stadium?

A: I was there with Dave's parents. It was unbelievable for the two of us. Just a few months before, doctors had told him that outside of a miracle, he'd never pitch again.

Q: Were you worried at all about the cancer?

A: I felt like they had taken care of it. I had a peace about it. I didn't even think about it. The tumor was encapsulated, and they said they had gotten it all.

Q: Were you also there when he pitched and you could hear his bone break?

A: No. He was in Montreal and I was in San Francisco. I was listening to the game on the radio because it wasn't televised. The kids were swimming in our pool and I was sitting there. It was a beautiful hot August afternoon. When I heard he fell, I thought, oh, my goodness, he twisted his ankle. After all this rehab, he's fallen and either broken or sprained his ankle. Then I heard the announcer say, "He's holding his shoulder." I rushed into the house and called — hard to believe it was before cell phones — the Montreal clubhouse.

He was taken to the hospital with a broken arm. We didn't know what was ahead. But Dave and I both felt that it was something beyond baseball. He is a committed Christian and he had been speaking about his faith after the comeback game. Now reporters were asking, "OK, Dave Dravecky, where's your God now?"

Two weeks later, I got a call that my father dropped dead of a heart attack. He was a pharmacist. He had been laughing, and then in the next minute, he was gone. All the pain from my mother's death started bubbling up again. I hadn't taken time to grieve her death. "God, I can't believe this is happening now. I have a sick husband and two little children." I thought, OK, I'm going to pick myself up by my bootstraps. I'd say I was fine.

Q: How long was it before the depression got so overwhelming that you knew you couldn't handle it on your own?

A: I was losing my appetite, losing weight, unable to sleep. I had lost my joy. It was like a dark cloud had just encompassed me. I didn't know it was depression. About six months later, we went to the White House. Dave was getting the American Cancer Society's courage award. I had my first panic attack. I didn't know what it was. I thought it was a heart attack, after having two parents who died of that. I ran outside our hotel, and Dave followed me out. I told him I was dying.

My doctor said, "Tell me what's been going on in your life." After I did, he said, "You're depressed." I went to a Christian therapist, and he said, "Jan, you have to take time to grieve. You have lost so much, you have to grieve." I said, "I'm not going back there." I went to get help, and he only made me feel worse.

Q: How long did it take to emerge on the other side?

A: Three years. I went on medication and Dave and I both started getting the counseling we needed a month before Dave's arm was amputated.

Q: Do you still deal with times of depression?

A: I've been on Prozac since 1991. Of course, I went on it when it was very controversial. I had people who felt it was their duty to tell me I would either become a mass murderer or commit suicide. I tried to go off of it two times, but had to go back on it. A year ago, I went to a bio-feedback center. I've been off of it for the first time for a year.

Q: Is there a particular Scripture verse that especially inspired you or gave you hope?

A: Yes. 2 Corinthians 4:16-18: "Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."

I kind of held on to that. And it's the cornerstone of our ministry, for what we do now.

Q: You're coming to Turlock to speak at the annual prayer breakfast. Some folks say that prayer doesn't work. Did it help you?

A: Yes, it was my lifeline. I think one of the hardest things was during our wilderness time, I couldn't feel a sense of God. That doesn't mean God is not present in our lives; it just means we can't feel it.

I remember one hot August afternoon and the kids asked me to take them to the pool. I just couldn't take them, so Dave did. After they left, I shook my fist at God and said, "I see no sign of you. You are nowhere to be found. I'm just going to turn to the world; that at least can offer me some relief from this pain. I thought, materialism — I'd go shopping at the mall and maybe buy a car on the way home.

Then I realized that no matter what I'd turn to, whether materialism or alcohol or an affair, it would only be temporary. That God was the only thing that would be eternal. So I turned back to God and said, "I want to run from you, but I won't. I will learn your promises. I will hold you to them." That sent me back to the Scriptures. That's when I began to learn what God wanted to teach me."

Bee staff writer Sue Nowicki can be reached at 578-2012 or snowicki@modbee.com.

This story was originally published April 30, 2010 at 8:51 PM with the headline "Draveckys deliver message of hope."