Finding distance and unexpected connection on my son’s school field trip | Opinion

My son, Jason, was a sophomore at North Monterey County High School when I heard that all the Advanced Placement English students would be taking an educational trip to the Oregon Shakespeare Festival in Ashland.

I had attended this elaborate extravaganza on several occasions before and loved every bit of it. As a parent, I was thrilled that Jason would be going to Ashland without any parental pressure on my part. That is, until my son’s school’s principal buttonholed me and asked if I would consider being one of the parent chaperones.

I told him that I would love to go, but I would first like to see how Jason felt about me participating.

Later that same day, Jason and I were in the kitchen, and I broached the subject, “Your principal asked me to be one of the parent chaperones on the Ashland trip. What would you think about that?”

Jason did not answer me immediately. He took a few minutes, thought about the question, and after reflecting a bit, he said, “Yeah, mom, that would be okay. Just pretend that you don’t know me and Chad.”

“No problem,” I thought.

Chad had been Jason’s close friend from birth, and I thought it was natural for them to want a little privacy from the ever-present mom person.

Not long after our several bus loads of gifted English students arrived in Ashland, Rochelle, a girl I knew only a little, rushed up to me and said, “The teachers have given my mom permission to be in charge of eight of us, but they said she needs a partner. Would you be my mom’s partner?”

Always up for an adventure, I gladly agreed. Rochelle and her friends were a bit younger than Jason. I knew her as a spitfire ball of energy. Participating with Rochelle’s mom in charge of a group that did not include Jason or Chad seemed a perfect way to distance myself from my role as parent and be a part of some impromptu adventure.

Rochelle seemed to always be assessing her surroundings with the thought, “How can this be even more interesting?” I found that her mom was much the same. And so, we were a group of 10.

The large group ate pizza the first night, but our small group went to an intimate French restaurant in downtown Ashland and were seated in a candlelit alcove that seemed just for us. We sampled exotic fare — I tasted my first escargot — and we shared small plates that engaged our curiosity as well as our taste buds.

We were up early the next morning and borrowed bikes provided by our motel and rode into the hills surrounding Ashland to have a picnic breakfast. We were back with the group in time for the tour of the backstage areas and had a great time dressing in the Shakespearian costumes in the costume library, putting us in the mood for live theater.

That evening, we attended “Macbeth” in the huge outdoor theater under a sky resplendent with stars. As the witches stirred their cauldron, a shooting star arched across the heavens as though prescribed for that moment, and a soft “Ooooh” was heard throughout the assemblage. Moments like that are unforgettable, especially when shared with young people of your own who are ready for a moment of unprogrammed beauty.

As the large group headed back to the motel, my partner-parent and I noticed that there was a late night showing of “Babette’s Feast” at the vintage theater in Ashland. We looked at each other and thought, “Why not?” This lovely foreign film was yet another rather unique experience for our open-minded freshman.

The next afternoon, as I was waiting outside the appropriate theater for our next taste of Shakespeare, I was approached by a young man. When he had made his way through the group and stood beside me, he said, “Hey, mom, why don’t you ask me and Chad to go with you when you’re going to do something cool with your group?”

Looking him up and down carefully, with a smile on my face, I said, “I’m sorry, young man, but I don’t think I know you.”

As parents, we have to keep our promises, right?

Bunny Stevens lives in Modesto, her hometown, and has served on The Modesto Bee Community Advisory Board. She is the opening courtesy clerk at the Safeway supermarket on McHenry Avenue and an ordained minister in the Universal Life Church. Reach her at BunnyinModesto@gmail.com