Dating in Modesto in the time of coronavirus
I am an unmarried, heterosexual male, currently “between girlfriends,” a status I’ve enjoyed a bit too long. Today, I went to the pharmacy, where I had to stand behind a table that blocked me from touching the counter or coming within six feet of the clerk. The next person in line stood behind a sign a good eight or nine feet away.
This requirement is an attempt by the pharmacy manager to ensure that customers maintain “social distance,” a term which sociologists like me hate because the phrase has a very different meaning in our field. Anyway, I started to think about what is happening to relationships among people who were dating before the national shutdown.
The Internet and texting enable many of us to maintain contact with friends and family. But for people who are dating, these technological marvels can’t possibly replace holding hands, hugging, or enjoying a kiss goodnight. Even taking a walk loses its charm when you have to keep two Toyotas between you.
Of course, this crisis will soon pass, which is probably what people said during Week 3 of the Great Plague during the 14th century. That pandemic started in Central or East Asia, traveled along the Silk Road where it was carried by traders, and was transported by merchant ship to Italy in 1343, from which it spread to the rest of Europe. Sound familiar?
By the end of the century, it is estimated that 30% to 60% of the European population had been wiped out. Total world population dropped from 475 million to about 350 million. The bubonic plague was so devastating that it took Europe 200 years to recover to its previous population level.
People with a sense of history might wonder if the same thing can happen today. The answer is probably “no.” In the 14th century, people didn’t sing the happy birthday song twice while washing their hands. In fact, any form of cleansing was uncommon because the germ theory of disease had yet to be discovered.
Today, we have the medical know-how to stanch the spread of the pandemic. But, we need to be mindful that the virus might persist even after the last infected person has either been cured or died.
The plague returned to Europe many times between the 14th and 17th centuries. And, it was just as severe with each iteration; 400,000 people died from the 1466 plague in Paris. The disease of 1628-1631 killed almost a million people throughout France. And more than 1.25 million deaths were caused by plague in 17th-century Spain.
People my age remember when polio caused parents to caution children about going to movie theaters or community swimming pools. During the 20th century, smallpox was responsible for the death of 300 million around the globe. In 1979, the World Health Organization certified that the disease was eradicated. Other pandemics include measles, tuberculosis, leprosy, malaria, and yellow fever, all of which are now preventable or curable. And most people today can remember HIV/AIDS, Ebola, H5N1 flu, and Zika virus.
Coronavirus, or COVID-19, reminds us that contagious disease has been a major feature throughout recorded history. But, the precautions that are being taken now are new to most of us. Isolation will provide protection for most, but not all. For those who are dating or would entertain the idea, it’s not that simple.
Let’s go back to my experience today. What if the person in line ahead of me appeared to be an attractive woman? I could say, in a voice just a bit louder than casual conversation, “Excuse me miss, would you like to… uh… um….” As my face turned beet red, I’d be struggling with “go out to dinner with me” or “go to a movie” or “have a cup of coffee.”
We can’t do those things anymore.
This story was originally published April 6, 2020 at 5:00 AM.