Kathleen Rowe-Glendon: Why do parents kill their children?

It’s not as uncommon as we would hope.

Phillip Resnick, a forensic psychiatrist who is an expert in filicide – the deliberate killing of a child by a parent – says, on average, 450 children are killed intentionally by their parents in the United States each year.

The death of Justice Rees near Sacramento has left an entire town, county, state and country grieving at the senseless murder of an infant. For most of us, this is an unfathomable act. Nonetheless, whenever one of these killings occur, we are riveted by the details. Always there are the endless and resounding questions: Why? How could a mother, after carrying a child for nine months, then murder her baby?

Resnick has isolated five characteristics of parents who kill.

First, the parent feels the child is better off in heaven than having them as a parent. Resnick refers to this type of killing as altruistic. Second, the parent is suffering from an acute psychotic break (such as postpartum psychosis). The third involves a spur-of-the-moment act of “teaching the child a lesson” or fatally disciplining the child (throwing a child against the wall or shaking it to death). The fourth involves getting rid of an unwanted baby. The fifth category is that of a parent vengefully killing their child to strike out at an estranged spouse or partner (typically after infidelity).

Sadly, Resnick says, “As far as death by homicide goes, you’re more likely to be killed on the day you are born than on any other day of your life.”

Medical anthropologist Nancy Scheper-Hughes, who studied mothers incarcerated for killing their children, said “There’s a collective denial even when mothers come right out and say, ‘I really shouldn’t be trusted with my kids.’”

We may never know why Samantha Green made a desperate trek into a swampy area near the Sacramento River, a trek that resulted in a murder charge. We are haunted by the beautiful, bright-eyed baby boy who left this world too soon.

However rare, there are indicators and symptoms for filicide. Hormonal changes, social isolation, lack of emotional support, financial problems, relationship pressures, a diagnosed mental illness and a predisposition toward depression can all be triggers for those who are vulnerable to filicide.

Family and friends need to be aware that many new mothers experience depression after the birth of a child. Sometimes, sleep deprivation and the sheer panic of being responsible for a baby’s well-being can contribute to “baby blues,” and that can lead to darker things. Postpartum depression and its more sinister cousin, postpartum psychosis, can be treated with talk therapy and medication.

If the depression lingers or the mom starts talking about hurting herself or her baby, these symptoms need to be taken seriously and quickly. When such symptoms are there, we must listen and offer nonjudgmental support for any new parent.

Children do not come with an instruction manual, nor do they come with a universal remote. Loving them, sometimes, is a social response. As a society, we need to detach from the idea that motherhood and parenthood is second nature for every woman. It’s not. And for those to whom it doesn’t come naturally, they’re better off if we can intercede before it is too late.

This story was originally published March 26, 2015 at 5:01 PM with the headline "Kathleen Rowe-Glendon: Why do parents kill their children?."