Jeremiah Parrott: Cell phones, tablets creating an epidemic of fatal distraction

I’m outraged! According to a recent article in the Telegraph, more people died in 2014 by a single new trend than from shark attack! The narcissistic emphasis on taking “selfies” with cell phones has killed 12 people this year!

Consider the number of fatal car accidents linked to using electronic devices, and we have a full-blown epidemic! In 2012 alone, 3,328 people were killed in distraction-related accidents; 11 teens die every day as a result of texting, according to the National Safety Council. Thanks to school districts integrating technology into the classrooms by providing laptops or tablets to every student, and the Gubermint providing free phones to anyone with a pulse, we can expect these numbers to grow.

To curb this danger we must immediately ban all cell phones! Confiscation should begin immediately to preserve our society from spiraling into anarchy! Your prayers aren’t enough, action must be taken!

That, or we can all begin to act like adults and exhibit some self-discipline. Alas, those of us who can hear, know this will never happen – considering the sense of entitlement and victimization prevalent in the current culture of decay that most Gen Xers (like me) and Millenials have been brought up in.

This story was originally published December 11, 2015 at 1:05 PM with the headline "Jeremiah Parrott: Cell phones, tablets creating an epidemic of fatal distraction."