Alfa Broderick: Giddy over Trump’s decision to run

An open letter to Donald Trump:

You made my dream come true, Mr. Trump! Thank you from the bottom of my heart! I was elated when I saw you on TV yesterday, declaring your intention to run for the presidency. What else can I ask from life now? Imagine an egomaniac, narcissistic, dirty-rich billionaire like you leading our country for four or, if we are lucky, eight years. Are we lucky or what?

Now that you’ve declared your candidacy, I’m sure you’ll be our next president!

Picture this: No more Mexicans bringing crime, drugs and other undesirable things with them, or doing the hardest, dirtiest jobs nobody else wants; no more poor people making anybody uncomfortable while others enjoy life. No more worries about pollution or climate change, or even economic problems, since everything will be taken care by you – the “Mighty One” – while people responsible for our country’s problems are appropriately dealt with. All our issues solved by the billions that (magically) will fill everybody’s pockets. I can’t hardly wait for this magic to materialize. And your looks! As our new president, your face will be a recurring image we all will be blessed to see daily.

This story was originally published June 18, 2015 at 5:16 PM with the headline "Alfa Broderick: Giddy over Trump’s decision to run."