Ed Brault: If television became commerical-free, I don’t think I could carry on

I am livid with rage. They keep interrupting commercials with regular programming. I love watching the same commercial 100 times. Some channels allow companies to buy a half hour to advertise.

I keep my land-line phone right next to my recliner. When every commercial ends with the words “Call Now,” I grab the phone and order whatever they are selling to encourage them to continue advertising.

When I hear the words “two for the price of one,” I experience unmodified rapture. Most commercials usually occur at the end of the program, and that’s my favorite time to watch. Sometimes they run the exact same commercial back to back. It always seems better the second time.

My favorite commercials are the silly ones aimed at adult children. If there were no TV commercials, I think I might become suicidal. I sure wish they had a TV in the doughnut shop where I hang out so I could see commercials instead of listening to my senior citizen buddies tell me how rotten the Democrats are.

This story was originally published December 4, 2017 at 1:43 PM with the headline "Ed Brault: If television became commerical-free, I don’t think I could carry on."