J. Jason Gale: If Trump’s a spy, he’s working for the Democrats
1, Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin (who would know), both deny Trump’s a spy.
2, What spy agency would hire him? CIA? KGB (FSB)? Would you?
3, Trump does not speak Russian. He barely speaks English. School House Rock has a more imaginative vocabulary.
4, Trump cannot keep a secret. If he knows something, he’ll brag about it even if it’s incriminating.
5, Almost no one trusts him to state actual facts. It’s unclear if he understands what facts are.
6, Trump is not the sacrifice-for-your-country type.
7, Trump can’t tell a convincing lie. Even kids know when he’s lying.
If he’s a secret agent, he’s working for the Democrats. For all his mumbling, fumbling and bungling, he has only managed to embarrass himself and fellow Republicans. He has filled the streets of every major city with newly minted liberal activists. And he sacked FBI Chief James Comey, which the Democrats wanted to do six months ago.
In 2018 Trump will singlehandedly transform Congress to Democratic control. History books will record that feat as the most notable accomplishment of his entire administration.
J. Jason Gale, Riverbank
This story was originally published June 6, 2017 at 10:40 AM with the headline "J. Jason Gale: If Trump’s a spy, he’s working for the Democrats."