Lloyd Russell: Who is driving this train to Insanestan?
The train has left the station. The passengers are nervous, twitchy and uncomfortable. It has been announced the train will make an unscheduled run to Coocooburg, capitol of Insanestan, the land of the paranoid and the home of the crazed. A pair of entertainers – an organ grinder named Steve Batman and his partner – are attempting to calm the passengers. The partner, a large orange-thatched orangutan named Pumpkin Pompador, is rattling a tin cup in an attempt to shake down the passengers.
Batman is jerking Pumpkin’s chain with one hand and cranking his organ with the other. Batman tells the people not to fear Insanestan, the country is so safe that no one needs insurance. The surgeon general, Vladimir Dipsticksky, a Trump U graduate, has cured all disease. Everyone has non-fluoridated, lead-filled water, wears a tinfoil hat, gets their protein by licking dead flies off windows and carries a concealed rocket launcher. No one who is not of European christian descent will be permitted to immigrate. The Europeans may have trashed Europe twice and killed 60 million people during the 20th century, but they are our kind of people.
Lloyd Russell, Stevinson
This story was originally published March 9, 2017 at 3:24 PM with the headline "Lloyd Russell: Who is driving this train to Insanestan?."