What it means if tall, pale and ugly is at your door for Valentine’s Day
For anyone who thinks Feb. 14 needs a little spooky to balance out the sweet, the Turlock-based Ranch of Horror has a new service that should be to your bloody heart’s delight: Valentine’s Day grams delivered by its eerie clowns.
For the first year, the performance company, which got its start with a Halloween haunt and expanded to a Christmas attraction, is sending out the clowns Peddles, Blanco and Tiny to creepily compete with that cutie Cupid.
The three circus castoffs don’t sing, but neither do they scream at valentine recipients, said Heather May of Ranch of Horror.
“The clowns stay in character,” she told The Bee in a message Tuesday. “Most of our Ranch of Horror clowns do not talk. Some of them, like Tiny, have a very sarcastic personality.
“Every clown has their own unique way of delivering the grams. For example, Peddles has a pogo stick that he can bounce in with to really draw attention to your loved one’s special delivery, just in case a creepy clown wasn’t enough. Blanco is very silent and mysterious.”
The clowns are making deliveries Thursday and Friday, to homes and workplaces. Each clown is escorted by a driver, who scouts out the delivery site “to make sure we aren’t terrifying small children and help judge the atmosphere of the delivery before sending the clown in,” May said.
Ranch of Horror decided to toss out the valen-gram idea and see what response it got, she said. The first Facebook post went up Jan. 21, offering deliveries only on Valentine’s Day and up to 15 miles from its Turlock headquarters. But by Feb. 5, it announced the operation had grown significantly.
Only a few orders were expected, May said, but “we have had so many interested that we had to expand our delivery area, call in more clowns and even open up new delivery dates. We are now delivering the 13th and 14th.” Deliveries will be made from Stockton down to Fresno, she said.
Some already have gone out, including the first one to Atwater resident Jeanie Knight, whose niece is Ranch of Horror owner Janice Regalo. “It was awesome; I had no idea they were coming,” Knight said by phone Tuesday.
In a Ring doorbell video she posted on her Facebook page, Knight doesn’t look at all rattled when she peers though the front door’s stained glass to see Blanco and Peddles there. She’s all smiles as she opens the door to greet them.
As a member of the RoH extended family, it takes more than clowns bearing flowers and candy to spook her. “They really weren’t all that scary,” Knight said. “I thought really they were kind of cute.”
Delivery options are a balloon bouquet with card, $18; an additional gift for $10; two gifts, an extra $20; three gifts, $25; or “choose all four for an additional $30,” according to a Ranch of Horror post on Facebook. Gifts options include a box of chocolates, a plush animal, flowers, and a bath and body set.
Delivery is free in Turlock, May said, and $5 for Modesto and Merced. The highest delivery charge is $12.50. “We have some going to Fresno and charge a little more for that drive,” she said. To order, call or text 209-947-8999 or visit the Ranch of Horror page on Facebook.
If traditional singing valentines are more to your taste, Modesto’s Golden Valley Chorus again has quartets offering them on Friday. A song and a rose are $45 for basic delivery, $60 for a time-specific one or $80 outside the area. Call 209-551-2314.
This story was originally published February 11, 2020 at 11:56 AM.
