‘Her passing couldn’t be the end of the story.’ Mother turns her pain into a campaign

Elizabeth Severson was in labor for a week.

She went to a hospital a few times but was sent back home. Her labor “wasn’t active enough for me to have to stay,” she said she was told.

On a subsequent visit, “I had a feeling something was off. I hadn’t felt her in a while,” Severson said of her daughter, Sienna. “It just didn’t feel right.”

After many minutes spent trying to find it, the medical staff broke the heartbreaking news: There was no heartbeat.

In Severson’s 34th week of pregnancy, on June 16, Sienna was stillborn.

For the preschool teacher, her husband, Jeffrey, and their families, it was a staggering conclusion to a “miracle” pregnancy.

High school sweethearts, the Seversons married after 10 years together. Because she has endometriosis, Elizabeth was told she likely would not be able to conceive. But a few months after they wed, the couple learned they were expecting.

“That was very huge for both of us … it was a big blessing,” she said. “Both our families were very anxious and excited for this baby, because to us she was a miracle.”

Severson’s pregnancy went as so many do: She was thrown a shower, the couple created a nursery for Sienna, doctor visits found nothing awry, she said. “So when we found out what happened, we were completely blindsided. Losing any child is unimaginable, but to build up to such an exciting time and to be let down is really hard. ... The last thing we expected was this, which I’m sure no one does.”

Severson, 27, said she imagines it wouldn’t have been hard to let her sorrow consume her. But she couldn’t let Sienna’s death be the end of her story, she said. There had to be more.

With the help of her best friend and others, Severson is channeling her grief into a campaign called Sienna’s Wings. The fledgling effort includes a brand new website, SiennasWings.com, which will include a blog and forum.

She’s organizing Sienna’s Walk, to be held in the spring and in Turlock to raise awareness and money to make care baskets for families who go home without their babies. Severson also intends for the walk to benefit Jessica’s House, the Turlock Pregnancy and Health Center and other local causes.

And she looks to make connections in other ways, such as the Doctors Medical Center Light the Night event this month (details at bottom).

All of this is to shine a light on a widely cited, alarming statistic: One in four pregnancies ends in miscarriage or stillbirth.

An article on the website of the American Pregnancy Association says, “Miscarriage is the most common type of pregnancy loss, according to the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists. Studies reveal that anywhere from 10 to 25 percent of all clinically recognized pregnancies will end in miscarriage.”

Stillbirth is when a baby dies in the womb after 20 weeks of pregnancy, say sources including the March of Dimes.

Though the miscarriage/stillbirth figure is high, Severson and best friend Liz Evans said it’s not often talked about. The women say that’s in part due to mothers unfairly feeling they’re somehow at fault for losing their babies.

But the silence can lead women to believe they’re alone, when the reality is they’re far from it. “The whole thing is to get people talking,” Evans said, “because once people start talking, it’s ‘Oh, I had that happen to me,’ or ‘That happened to my sister.’”

Severson said she’s been very open about her loss because she wants other families to know there are measures they can take to safeguard their unborn children’s health. “You have to be your own advocate instead of just 100 percent trusting the doctors,” she said. “I had a very strong feeling that (Sienna) wanted out for a reason, and the doctors kept telling me, ‘No, we need to keep her in,’ because it was a little bit early. Looking back, I could have put my foot down and said I would like to be monitored or I would like her to be more monitored.”

The Sienna’s Wings website is visually powerful because of a photo shoot Evans did that features Severson with a cousin and two other friends who all were pregnant about the same time she was. Among the 13 photos, some show Severson sharing their joy, some show the others sharing her sorrow.

“Nothing was staged, they weren’t models, but people who care about each other,” Evans said of the photos, each of which is paired with a quotation. “Elizabeth suffered the loss, and you can see it on her face in the images.

“It was tough to do the shoot. Her mother was there and her mother-in-law and it was emotional for everyone to get through it. But knowing the purpose of being able to help other people with these images, to bring comfort to them to make them feel like they’re not absolutely alone, helped. ... It’s not about making something go away, but about finding a way to categorize it in your heart. You can move forward and feel happiness while still coping with the hole.”

This story was originally published October 4, 2017 at 2:30 PM with the headline "‘Her passing couldn’t be the end of the story.’ Mother turns her pain into a campaign."