Family, friends left wondering why Modesto man apparently killed himself on Highway 99
Some years ago, Stanislaus County staff were on a probation search and contacted a woman who had just been released from custody.
The woman, who had a history of being in and out of custody, told probation officers one thing she thought about during her stay in jail was her class at the day reporting center and the 6-foot 7-inch teacher, Ben, who encouraged her to see value in her life.
It was the best thing she had going, she said, sharing feedback not often heard from probationers.
“He was a special person; it’s the only way to describe him,” said Mark Ferriera, the county’s acting chief probation officer.
Benjamin Wheeler, a former juvenile justice director for Youth for Christ Central Valley, knew everyone from top elected officials to drug addicts and gang bangers in Modesto, his mother said.
Co-workers, friends and family members are left with grief and agonizing questions after Wheeler was identified as the man struck and killed by a tractor-trailer Friday morning on Highway 99. Wheeler, 42, had parked his Honda van along the highway’s shoulder on northbound Highway 99 near Hammett Road.
In an apparent suicide, he ran into traffic and was struck by the semi.
His mother, Patricia Wheeler, on Tuesday offered an explanation for those who are asking why? She said her son had struggled with the mental health effects of traumatic brain injury. Treatment had done nothing to resolve the severe symptoms, she said.
Mrs. Wheeler also wrote about her son’s struggle in a Facebook post. “Something went wrong in his brain. It hurt so bad he couldn’t stand it. ... He was not himself. He did not plan it, he just needed the pain to stop.”
Ben Wheeler is survived by his wife Kate, and children, Zane, 17, and Hope, 12. A gofundme account was set up to cover funeral costs.
Wheeler was described as a passionate and caring minister for people who were lost, vulnerable and broken. In the past eight years, he served as a chaplain in Stanislaus County’s juvenile hall, counseled the young people one-on-one and led religious services on Sundays.
Speaking at high school graduations in the youth facility, Wheeler told the personal story of each graduate and made them feel special, Ferriera said. Among other things, he advised the teens not to mention in job interviews they smoked pot as a pastime, Wheeler joked in a podcast interview.
“There was no fake with Ben. He had a genuine love for that work,” the acting chief said.
Wheeler worked for 10 years for the county Probation Department. After leaving the county to take the job with Youth For Christ in 2011, Wheeler also asked to work with adults in the day probation center in Salida. The center was later moved to downtown Modesto and then a new center on Hackett Road.
Wheeler taught classes stressing the importance of having good values, hard work, responsibility, restraint, emotional control and moral reasoning. Aggression replacement therapy was another class he taught to former jail inmates who had witnessed unspeakable violence in their criminal lives.
Patricia Wheeler said her son’s brain trauma symptoms forced him to stop working for Youth For Christ last year. His final paycheck was in September and he was applying for disability, she said. He was taken a number of times to a veterans hospital for assessments but did not respond to the prescribed medication.
In 2018, the results of a Danish study found that people who had suffered traumatic brain injury were twice as likely to die by suicide, though the rate was still low. The lead author told Reuters that emotional and psychological problems may result from brain injuries; other physical symptoms include headache, dizziness, impaired memory and concentration problems.
Wheeler participated in football during his three years attending Modesto Christian High School and then a wild streak led to a senior year and graduation from Davis High. Mrs. Wheeler said her son possibly suffered brain trauma while surfing or getting in fights in the Navy before returning to the straight-and-narrow path.
He was struck by a vehicle while riding his stand-up bike in Modesto, she added.
Ben Wheeler’s near lifetime commitment to his faith was illustrated by a story written more than 25 years ago by former Modesto Bee writer Sue Nowicki, who told of two teens spending summer vacation on youth missions; one of them was then 14-year-old Wheeler.
He traveled with a drama team to Budapest, Hungary, taking puppets, mime faces and skits to prisons, shopping centers and retirement homes. Wheeler said they met people who were eager to hear about God after decades of communist rule.
On Tuesday, Secily Gonzalez said in an email that she first met Wheeler when he stopped by her cell in juvenile hall. She was 12.
Gonzalez said the chaplain didn’t judge or give up on the young people when they relapsed or committed another offense.
“This tragedy was so not like him,” Gonzalez wrote. “None of us understand why he did this because it was so out of his character. I have experienced many losses in my life, but this one will be unforgettable. He was there for me when my own family gave up on me.”
A service is set for 10 a.m. Saturday at Big Valley Grace Community Church.
For suicide prevention help, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255
This story was originally published February 19, 2020 at 8:53 AM.
