What should Obama see in Yosemite?

Dear President Obama,

So we hear you and the first family will be coming to Yosemite National Park for Father’s Day weekend. As this is your first visit to the park while in office, we thought it would be only neighborly of us – as Californians rightfully proud of this phenomenal national treasure in our backyard – to offer some helpful suggestions. The National Park Service, whose centennial you will be celebrating with your stay, has been mum on what sights you, Michelle and the girls will be seeing.

Word is you’ll arrive in the state late Friday and leave on Sunday. So, like many of the 4 million visitors to the park each year, your trip will be a short one. But that doesn’t mean you can’t pack maximum enjoyment of this marvel of imposing granite, big trees and roaring waterfalls.

Some might suggest a fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants approach is the best one when coming to such a smorgasbord of natural beauty.

San Diego-based mixed martial arts fighter and first-time Yosemite visitor A.J. Matthews got into his car and did just that Tuesday. Sitting at Tunnel View, a.k.a. The Postcard Shot, he said he wanted to center himself in the woods before his big televised fight on Friday.

“President Obama, if you want to come out to Yosemite, for me every corner has been a huge surprise and a beautiful surprise. So if you come in, go with no expectations, just go check it out. You’re going to love it,” Matthews said.

Still, it’s highly doubtful that the leader of the free world will plan this getaway without at least some cursory planning. So we feel it is our patriotic duty to provide the first family with a few essential do’s and don’ts for Yosemite.

First, you should be clear on what lies ahead. While Yosemite is a huge tourist attraction, it is also very much a wilderness. The park is 1,169 square miles of American greatness. But only about 200 of those miles are paved roads. So be sure to get out of the motorcade early and often. Also make sure the whole family’s hiking boots are in tiptop shape. While, theoretically, you could visit the park in flip-flops, this is no way to pay respect to the millions of years of hard work put in by all of those glaciers.

Second, respect the park’s residents – and I don’t just mean the park rangers. Yosemite has all manner of flora and fauna. But, let’s face it, everyone hopes to see a bear. The American black bear (which is often brown in color because names can be confusing) is a relatively common and dangerous sight in the park. Officials estimate 300 to 500 bears roam through the region. Unfortunately, they’ve become conditioned to us humans and our penchant for tasty snacks. So absolutely no leaving bags of Doritos in the First Car.

But bears aren’t the only animals to watch out for in the park. Walk around any length of time and you’ll see signs posted with “The Plague” mentioned in bold type. Yes, that plague. Last year two visitors contracted the disease in the park, which is spread largely through fleas from infected animals. I don’t want the Secret Service to have to tackle a chipmunk. So no feeding the squirrels, chipmunks or other adorable critters who skitter up to you in hopes of scoring a stray pretzel.

Now that proper attire and animal etiquette is settled, the debate about where to go really begins. With so many glorious vistas to take in – seriously point a camera in any direction and you’re bound to take shot worthy of framing – time management will be key for you and the first family.

Tunnel View, right before the Wawona Tunnel, is clearly a must. Queen Elizabeth II stopped there when she visited the park in 1983 – as do tourists by the literal busloads daily. I’d be willing to make an unscientific guess that 90 percent of the selfies posted to Facebook from Yosemite are taken at Tunnel View.

But for a slightly less pedestrian but no less breathtaking view of the park, trek up to Glacier Point. At 7,214 feet, you will find yourself almost face-to-face with Half Dome, the iconic sheet of rock that has become the park’s emblem. You’ll feel so close you could practically reach out and touch its seemingly perfectly sliced silhouette.

“Come to Glacier Point. To me, this is one of the most outstanding areas. It’s so dramatic up here,” said Arnold Karpel, from Orange County, who came to the park for a few days with his wife and friends from out of state.

Though, if you and the family are feeling especially ambitious, perhaps apply for a permit to actually touch Half Dome for real. The challenging 14- to 16-mile hike to ascend to its summit, which ends by scaling 400-feet of cables, is clearly not for beginners. But think of the motivational poster it would make for the first lady’s Let’s Move! campaign.

“I highly encourage him to go to Half Dome, go to the top and post to Facebook,” said Wei Guo, who came with his wife, Natalie Diao and their 5-year-old daughter, Angelina from Seattle to the park on Tuesday.

After all that hiking, you’ll probably be looking for some liquid refreshment. While the state continues to weather an extreme drought, our much-welcomed wetter winter means Yosemite’s waterfalls will still be thundering well into summer. So be sure to stop by, in order of least to most strenuous waterfall treks: Bridalveil Fall, Lower Yosemite Fall, the Vernal Fall Mist Trail, Nevada Fall Trails and Upper Yosemite Fall. Yes, there are more, but you’ve only got two days, Mr. President. Pace yourself.

Unfortunately, the Mariposa Grove of Giant Sequoias is closed for a major restoration project until next spring. So you will probably have to miss wandering through its 500 mature giant sequoia trees, which are among the rarest, oldest and largest living organisms in the entire world. Granted, I’ll bet you know some people, so maybe you’ll be able to take a peek at the famous 1,800-year-old Grizzly Giant after all. But in lieu of that there are plenty of big trees to be seen at Tuolumne Grove and Merced Grove, among other places, in the park.

While it seems like we’ve gone through a lot, really this only scratches the surface in a place as massive and majestic as Yosemite. Crane your neck to ooh-and-ahh at El Capitan, Cathedral Rocks, Three Brothers and the rest as they rise up from the Valley Floor Loop. Wonder at the glass-like perfection of Mirror Lake. Soak in the tranquility of Tuolumne Meadows. Raft down the crystal-clear Merced River.

Finally, after an exhausting day of taking in all these truly awesome offerings, do like so many other Yosemite visitors. Sit down at Half Dome Village (formerly Curry Village – I know, no one likes the new names) and enjoy a slice of perfection amid nature’s bounty.

“President Obama should eat at the Pizza Patio,” said Wisconsin resident Eric Farness, who came with his wife, Katie, for his first trip to the park.

So there you have it, Mr. President. Vistas, hikes, trees, waterfalls, meadows and – yes, pizza. Enjoy your stay, sir. And, remember, take nothing but photos and leave nothing but the certainty that our nation’s great national parks must always be preserved.

Sincerely,

Your friends from the Central Valley

This story was originally published June 15, 2016 at 7:03 PM with the headline "What should Obama see in Yosemite?."