Carol Whiteside — a force of nature, and a friend
When he or she knows something important is about to happen, a good journalist prewrites, or composes in advance the guts of what will become a story when it does happen. I couldn’t do that in anticipation of Carol Whiteside’s death on Friday, even though we knew it was coming. It just hurt too much.
So forgive me if this seems rambly and disorganized. At least it’s from the heart.
I guess I didn’t want to face the truth, that we could actually lose her. When something is too painful to admit, sometimes we just ignore it. We turn away, we push it from our minds, we refuse to look. And then it happens anyway, and we’re forced to confront it.
The truth is that Carol Whiteside died Friday at 78 after nearly two years of dealing with the debilitating effects of a stroke suffered only a few months after she lost her husband, another Modesto icon. Most knew John Whiteside as a Stanislaus County Superior Court Judge. She loved him and she missed him, and now she’s with him. I guess I should take some comfort in that.
Both were brilliant, but they were soooo different. While John was quiet and reflective, Carol was the life of the party — bubbly, social, strong, caring.
She cared so much about Modesto that she left behind a comfortable housewife’s life to run for school board, then City Council. No one was surprised when this hard-charging, smart and strong-willed natural leader became our mayor, and running off to join then-Gov. Pete Wilson’s cabinet in Sacramento seemed a natural step, too, followed by her founding the once-nationally respected Great Valley Center, a true labor of love.
An effective Modesto leader, and a quick wit
We didn’t get along at first, truth be told. The first time I quoted her was for what The Modesto Bee in those days called a newsmaker profile, in 1998, on her successor, then-Mayor Dick Lang, and Carol let me know she didn’t appreciate part of it. But an effective leader knows how to forgive, forget and build new bridges, and Carol was nothing if not an unstoppable, unforgettable, effective leader.
Two years later, I drew the assignment to research and write another newsmaker profile — on Carol Whiteside. As I delved into her past and present, it became clear that this was no ordinary mover-shaker, no run-of-the-mill politician. Carol Whiteside was a force of nature.
Everyone knew and respected her on some level. And it seemed that she knew them, too. I marveled at how she would give undivided attention when she sat down with you, even though other pressures and duties had been pulling her in a hundred directions only moments before.
Others can and will talk at length about her political savvy, her drive, her impeccable ethics, her moral compass, her inexhaustible Rolodex, her love of life and friends and family, her wisdom and pragmatism, and her sense of humor. I’ll just say that I loved how she would call to ask me to coffee, pause, and then giggle because she knew I’m not a coffee drinker but she just liked to tease.
How I wish the news we got today of her passing was just another tease.
I couldn’t bring myself to prewrite about Carol Whiteside’s death because I didn’t want to face the truth of it. Now I’m having trouble with it because my eyes aren’t working right.
Goodbye, Carol.
