No on 8: Opponents want equal rights for same-sex couples

Stephanie Stolte of Turlock works part time for the Unitarian Universalist legislative ministry action network "on behalf of the No on Prop. 8 campaign."

Her opposition to the measure is very personal.

"My wife, Paula, and I are profoundly grateful to be married after 11 years together," she said. "We were married with the blessing of both of our fathers and both of our mothers, with the support of our brothers and sisters, our minister, members of our congregation and our dear friends. Both of our fathers walked us down the aisle. We don't understand how people can feel comfortable interfering with families like ours by eliminating the rights of Californians to marry the person they love."

Stolte said she and Paula "are very private people," but felt they had to speak up on this issue.

"Gay or lesbian people are not abstractions," she said. "We are real human beings. Proposition 8 threatens to really, truly exclude us from the human family. It's profoundly wrong and profoundly damaging to our humanity."

Fundamental right

Michael Goss of Modesto, a family law attorney who said he does mostly divorces, will vote against Proposition 8 "because I've come to the conclusion that it's a fundamental right or freedom that people who are in love should be able to marry. I believe the state Supreme Court got it right in May when it overturned state law, which prevented gays and lesbians from marrying. I think it's all about civil rights."

He said his beliefs partly stem from his service as a career military officer from the 1970s to the 1990s.

"I was active in the military when it was trying to deal with gays and lesbians serving openly in the military," Goss said. "They served our country well and took pride in it. And yet, the military authorized their expulsion. I thought it was unjust. Then they adopted the 'Don't ask, don't tell' policy in the '90s. I think the military adopted that as a transition policy, that they felt with the passage of time (homosexuality) would become acceptable. It bothers me that we still have that policy. In essence, they're treated as second-class citizens."

Power in covenant

Debra Brady, pastor of First United Methodist Church in Modesto, doesn't believe in her national church's stance that neither UMC pastors nor buildings can be used for same-sex marriages. But, she said, she's complying with it "because I'm trying to model for others how to deal well with one another. I am part of the struggle that says we will continue to be in relationship even though we are opposed."

She will vote against Proposition 8 because of her views "as a citizen and a person of faith. As a citizen, I know that the state, through the contract of marriage, bestows certain economic privileges and benefits. I don't think we should take those rights away from couples of the same gender."

"As a person of faith," Brady said, "I'm voting no because I believe in the power of these covenants. It's a holy and sacred thing, and I don't want to deny that to my brothers and sisters in Christ who happen to be oriented to people of the same gender.

"I am also deeply compassionate toward those who believe strongly the other way."

Choose love, marriage

Grace Simons, pastor of Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of Stanislaus County, officiated June 17 at the first same-sex wedding in Modesto. She said she's perhaps participated in a half-dozen such weddings.

"We started doing union commitments (of same-sex couples) back in the 1970s," she said. "We believe that every person is worthwhile. We would say that love is the greatest gift of our lives. I believe that all loving, committed couples should be able to choose marriage.

"The term 'marriage' has a lot of significance in our culture because it has been recognized as such a serious commitment for so long. People understand when you say you're married what that means. If you say, 'I have a domestic partnership,' it's like signing a lease or taking out a loan -- things you need to do and you take care of it."

What about biblical texts against homosexuality?

"Parts of Scripture say that disrespectful children should be put to death, that we shouldn't eat seafood. We disregard Scripture all the time. Jesus said the greatest commandments are to love God and love your neighbor. It seems to me to be the part of Scripture we should put into practice in our lives."

Marriage means equal

Russ Matteson, co-pastor with his wife, Erin, of Modesto's Church of the Brethren, said: "I'm going to be voting no, and I would encourage other folks to do that as well. The bottom line reason for me is, what I see Proposition 8 trying to do is writing discrimination into the state constitution.

"What I think we as Christians ought to be doing is to make sure society upholds the dignity and worth of every human being. They (homosexuals) are created in the image of God and should be free to express their love and marry the person they love."

Why not do that through civil unions?

"Civil unions or domestic partnerships are not equal to marriage. In 'Seven Straight Nights,' people talked about how marriage strengthened their relationship. As a marriage, we are committing ourselves in a deep, deep level. To say to others they can't have that says, 'You're not really equal in the eyes of society.' "

This story was originally published October 25, 2008 at 6:24 AM with the headline "No on 8: Opponents want equal rights for same-sex couples."