An Oakdale seventh-grader was bullied. How the community rallied to his support
The 12-year-old boy walked from school to work on a Thursday afternoon in mid-December. His backpack stored Starburst candies. His pockets held his phone and a few dollars.
Dylan McDonald didn’t notice that a group of boys was plucking candy from the backpack. When a friend pointed it out, Dylan pulled his backpack to the front of his body and kept walking.
The other boys followed him, he said. They grabbed him, pulled him to the ground, took his money, grabbed more candy and tried to snatch his phone.
He recalls feeling scared. Ongoing bullying has affected Dylan’s education and his spirits. This time, it endangered his health.
Dylan attends Oakdale Junior High School. Since reading an account of what happened to him Dec. 16, people from Oakdale to the East Coast have rallied to his support.
Students and adults have shared their own tales of being bullied and raised money to present him with sums exponentially greater than what Dylan lost. They want him to feel loved and appreciated.
“Never did I ever imagine that it would turn into what it did,” said Deborah McDonald, Dylan’s mom.
Bullying persists
Dylan started junior high in person, but he switched to independent study toward the end of September because of bullying and isolation, his mother said. He decided he wanted to return to in-person instruction in December.
After school, Dylan walks 15 to 20 minutes to Mavericks Ice, a shaved-ice shop his parents own. He uses the money he makes from tips to buy candy in bulk and sell it for a profit, he said.
When he arrived at the shop Dec. 16, he told his mom what happened. She said she immediately called the school vice principal.
McDonald said she was told school officials would talk with Dylan and the other boys the next day — the last day of school before winter break. She said she didn’t receive another call.
Principal Catherine Medlin confirmed school officials were made aware of an incident that occurred Thursday after school. She said via email that she’s not able to discuss the incident further because of an ongoing investigation.
The assistant principal did not follow up with McDonald yet because he has not been able to fully investigate the incident, Medlin said by email.
“This has to do with a number of involved students (including witnesses) not being at school on the Friday following the incident,” she said. “However, we do always follow up with parents at the end of investigations. “
Medlin said all consequences for behaviors are listed in the district conduct code. Parents and students are required to read and sign the conduct code annually.
The day after the incident, McDonald said Dylan was sent a Snapchat photo of the other boys holding him to the ground. “A fight,” read the caption, followed by ironic emojis: a grinning face with star eyes, sparkles, foot and nail polish.
McDonald filed a police report.
Dylan was not physically injured aside from some red marks on his face, his mom said. But because of his hereditary medical condition, his heart races when he’s scared, then can’t correct itself. The condition, called Long QT Syndrome, could put him into cardiac arrest, she said.
“That was the scariest part for him — trying to stay in control of his fear and his breathing to make sure that he keeps himself safe,” McDonald said.
She said she’s not sure Dylan will want to attend school in person after winter break.
Community support
McDonald detailed her son’s experience in a Facebook post to alert other parents to what’s happening in their community, she said. She hoped to remind parents to speak to their children about how they treat others.
The post elicited over 500 comments within just a few days. People wrote that they felt angry for Dylan and certain the other boys should be punished. Many said they’ve noticed Dylan’s sweet and hard-working character in their interactions with him at Mavericks.
Before, Dylan had asked why everyone hates him, his mom shared. Now, he asks why people care about him so much, she said.
One of these people is Anthony Valerio, an Oakdale resident who races motocross in the Over the Hill Gang organization and has been racing dirt bikes since he was 4.
Valerio, 31, said he had been bullied like Dylan. “I don’t stand for that kind of stuff,” he said.
He said he went to Mavericks the day he saw McDonald’s Facebook post. Valerio shared tip money to make up for what was stolen, and gave his cell phone number in case Dylan needed someone to talk to.
He has talked with Dylan’s parents about taking him to a dirt-bike event in Livermore next year. He’ll surprise him with pit passes, take him to races and present him with autographs from professional racers.
On her Oakdale baking page, Jaylenes Baking, Jaylene Ponce wrote that she planned to leave a tip for Dylan on Christmas Eve. She welcomed others to join.
Ponce said she hoped to collect a couple of hundred dollars. By Friday morning, she had received over 100 donations from people in Oakdale, Texas, Utah, Nevada and the East Coast — totaling $2,700.
“During these times where the world is so angry at each other, it’s really cool that we can rally around someone who is going through a hard time,” Ponce said.
Consequences, raising awareness
Nationally, one in five students ages 12-18 reported being bullied at school in 2019, according to the National Center for Education Statistics.
Oakdale Joint Unified requires annual bullying training for staff, Medlin said. The junior high has an academic counselor, a behavior counselor and a behaviorist, she said. The administration counsels students each time a disciplinary action is taken, she said.
“We have PE talks where students are reminded about expected behaviors and we encourage students to reach out to administration as soon as an incident occurs,” Medlin said.
McDonald said she hopes the school imposes consequences for the boys she says beat up her son.
Schools should organize activities that encourage students to compliment and encourage one another, Dylan told his mom. He envisions guest speakers and a class period focused on anti-bullying and suicide awareness.
McDonald said they’re hosting a teen meet and greet Tuesday, Dec. 28, with Oakdale Mayor Cherilyn Bairos to help stop bullying and show Dylan he’s supported by people his age.
Asked what he wants people in the community to know about what happened, Dylan thought for a minute before saying something that reflects his own attitude.
“To not let the bully win.”
