Ron Agostini

Agostini: L.A. welcomes back NFL with ‘When do we wakeboard?’

Reading time, two minutes:

▪ Los Angeles jumped from zero NFL teams to one and potentially two this week. Angelenos celebrated by asking, “When do we go wakeboarding?”

▪ L.A. gets the real thing with the return of the Rams and maybe the Chargers. Fans must be told there’s more to the game these days than FanDuel.

▪ The NFL has been quiet in the basin for two decades. Replacing a beach ball with a football won’t be easy.

▪ The Raiders were left out of the L.A. sweepstakes. Owner Mark Davis dreamed that he just lost a gazillion dollars. Then he realized it wasn’t a dream.

▪ The Raiders’ lease with Coliseum has expired. They have nowhere to go. Methinks the “The Autumn Wind” loses its magic in Peoria.

▪ Davis, when asked if he has a message for Raiders fans, said, “Hi!” Sounds like a guy ready to leave town.

▪ The Raiders were spurned, which led to the next predictable step: San Antonio knocking on the Raiders’ door.

▪ Loyal fans in St. Louis and San Diego turn to L.A. and ask, “How did you survive Sunday?

▪ A get-well to Sonora’s Kraig Clifton, the starting point guard on Columbia College’s 1994 state-title team.

▪ About Cal State Stanislaus’ men’s basketball team’s recent win in Turlock over Cal State San Marcos: The Warriors beat a team coached by Jim Saia, the former UCLA assistant and Columbia head coach.

▪ A Giants outfield combination that sounds like a law firm: Hunter (Pence), Denard (Span) and Gregor (Blanco).

▪ The 49ers were 31st in the NFL in total offense and last in scoring. Here’s your blank canvas, Chip Kelly.

▪ Too late. You missed those discounted Colin Kaepernick jerseys.

▪ Eagles tight end Zach Ertz, who’s played for both Kelly and Jim Harbaugh, said, “I don’t need a buddy-buddy as a coach.” If Jed York said those words, the 49ers wouldn’t be in this jam.

▪ Kelly likes the list of second-chance coaches who succeeded: Bill Belichick, Tom Coughlin, Mike Reid, Pete Carroll and Marv Levy.

▪ He won’t like this list of second-chance flops: Mike Ditka, Mike Shanahan, Steve Mariucci, Art Shell and Lovie Smith.

▪ Eagles fans to the 49er Faithful: Enjoy the ride, suckers.

▪ The Faithful to the Eagles: After 2015, we’ll take our chances.

▪ Just a hunch: Vikings fans never will name their children after Gary Anderson or Blair Walsh.

▪ Vontaze Burfict and Adam Jones botched the Bengals’ first playoff win in 25 years. Today in Cincinnati, they’re known as Dumb and Dumber.

▪ Go figure: Clovis track star Jenna Prandini signs with Puma while she attends Nike U (Oregon).

▪ The NBA is netting three-point baskets at a record pace, and the perimeter shot is hot at all levels. Take a bow, Steph Curry.

▪ The Warriors gave Draymond Green a rest and lost their third game. Next to Curry, he’s indispensable.

▪ When the cheers drift away and the trouble begins: The late Lawrence Phillips.

▪ After that sorry batch of bowl games, fans deserved a classic in Alabama-Clemson.

▪ That last Clemson touchdown seemed meaningless – but not to the sportsbooks.

▪ Nick Saban has five national titles, one behind Bear Bryant. Place Saban’s straw hat next to Bryant’s houndstooth.

▪ St. Louis’ contribution to NFL lore: Kurt Warner and Marshall Faulk.

▪ Tiger Woods won seven times on the PGA Tour before his 23rd birthday. Only one other golfer has done that since World War II: Jordan Spieth.

▪ No one is comparing Spieth with Woods, but ...

▪ The AT&T Pebble Beach National Pro-Am is once again a heavyweight (Feb. 11-14) with Spieth, Jason Day, Bubba Watson, Dustin Johnson, Jim Furyk and Patrick Reed.

▪ Not clear on the concept: Why would anyone leave San Diego?

▪ Just because: Lance Alworth.

▪ The NFL will succeed in L.A. when the team goes 15-1. If not, there’s always Medieval Times.