Ron Agostini

Agostini: L.A. welcomes back NFL with ‘When do we wakeboard?’

Reading time, two minutes:

▪ Los Angeles jumped from zero NFL teams to one and potentially two this week. Angelenos celebrated by asking, “When do we go wakeboarding?”

▪ L.A. gets the real thing with the return of the Rams and maybe the Chargers. Fans must be told there’s more to the game these days than FanDuel.

▪ The NFL has been quiet in the basin for two decades. Replacing a beach ball with a football won’t be easy.

▪ The Raiders were left out of the L.A. sweepstakes. Owner Mark Davis dreamed that he just lost a gazillion dollars. Then he realized it wasn’t a dream.

▪ The Raiders’ lease with Coliseum has expired. They have nowhere to go. Methinks the “The Autumn Wind” loses its magic in Peoria.

▪ Davis, when asked if he has a message for Raiders fans, said, “Hi!” Sounds like a guy ready to leave town.

▪ The Raiders were spurned, which led to the next predictable step: San Antonio knocking on the Raiders’ door.

▪ Loyal fans in St. Louis and San Diego turn to L.A. and ask, “How did you survive Sunday?

7The PGA Tour wins by Tiger Woods and Jordan Spieth before they turned 23

▪ A get-well to Sonora’s Kraig Clifton, the starting point guard on Columbia College’s 1994 state-title team.

▪ About Cal State Stanislaus’ men’s basketball team’s recent win in Turlock over Cal State San Marcos: The Warriors beat a team coached by Jim Saia, the former UCLA assistant and Columbia head coach.

▪ A Giants outfield combination that sounds like a law firm: Hunter (Pence), Denard (Span) and Gregor (Blanco).

▪ The 49ers were 31st in the NFL in total offense and last in scoring. Here’s your blank canvas, Chip Kelly.

▪ Too late. You missed those discounted Colin Kaepernick jerseys.

▪ Eagles tight end Zach Ertz, who’s played for both Kelly and Jim Harbaugh, said, “I don’t need a buddy-buddy as a coach.” If Jed York said those words, the 49ers wouldn’t be in this jam.

▪ Kelly likes the list of second-chance coaches who succeeded: Bill Belichick, Tom Coughlin, Mike Reid, Pete Carroll and Marv Levy.

▪ He won’t like this list of second-chance flops: Mike Ditka, Mike Shanahan, Steve Mariucci, Art Shell and Lovie Smith.

▪ Eagles fans to the 49er Faithful: Enjoy the ride, suckers.

▪ The Faithful to the Eagles: After 2015, we’ll take our chances.

▪ Just a hunch: Vikings fans never will name their children after Gary Anderson or Blair Walsh.

▪ Vontaze Burfict and Adam Jones botched the Bengals’ first playoff win in 25 years. Today in Cincinnati, they’re known as Dumb and Dumber.

▪ Go figure: Clovis track star Jenna Prandini signs with Puma while she attends Nike U (Oregon).

▪ The NBA is netting three-point baskets at a record pace, and the perimeter shot is hot at all levels. Take a bow, Steph Curry.

▪ The Warriors gave Draymond Green a rest and lost their third game. Next to Curry, he’s indispensable.

▪ When the cheers drift away and the trouble begins: The late Lawrence Phillips.

▪ After that sorry batch of bowl games, fans deserved a classic in Alabama-Clemson.

▪ That last Clemson touchdown seemed meaningless – but not to the sportsbooks.

▪ Nick Saban has five national titles, one behind Bear Bryant. Place Saban’s straw hat next to Bryant’s houndstooth.

▪ St. Louis’ contribution to NFL lore: Kurt Warner and Marshall Faulk.

▪ Tiger Woods won seven times on the PGA Tour before his 23rd birthday. Only one other golfer has done that since World War II: Jordan Spieth.

▪ No one is comparing Spieth with Woods, but ...

▪ The AT&T Pebble Beach National Pro-Am is once again a heavyweight (Feb. 11-14) with Spieth, Jason Day, Bubba Watson, Dustin Johnson, Jim Furyk and Patrick Reed.

▪ Not clear on the concept: Why would anyone leave San Diego?

▪ Just because: Lance Alworth.

▪ The NFL will succeed in L.A. when the team goes 15-1. If not, there’s always Medieval Times.