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For Michael Vick, the Bad Newz Kennels is a company title come true.
If Vick is innocent until proven guilty, why have his three co-defendant "friends" rolled like your obedient cocker spaniel?
Vick looked NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell in the eye last spring and assured him he wasn't involved in dogfighting. A potentially bad career move.
Regardless of the Vick case: Please quit the defense of dogfighting as "cultural." It's excessive and depraved cruelty to animals. Period.
On to better news: High school football practice is under way. Sept. 7 is the target date.
The NFL has upgraded to a high-def system to review replay challenges on the field. The new contraption looks like something from The Wizard Of Oz. ("Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain.")
"After further review, my pretty, the play stands as called."
Barry Bonds loafed on a fly ball and was benched by manager Bruce Bochy. Mark it down as Bonds' first audition as a designated hitter.
Giants pitcher Randy Messenger broke a finger in his hand when he punched a plastic surface after a loss. At first, he attributed the fracture to a batting practice mishap. Yes, the cover-up gets you every time.
Ex-NBA official Tim Donaghy says he will give the feds information that may implicate as many as 20 refs. No, Commissioner David Stern, Donaghy doesn't sound like "a rogue, isolated criminal."
Michael Rando saved the game for Massachusetts at the Little League World Series. Red Sox officials called immediately: "If we sign you, Michael, can you hold off the Yankees?"
In the Two-Minute Room, any discussion about wild card "races" is prohibited until Sept. 1.
JaMarcus Russell will sign soon with the Raiders because, right now, Daunte Culpepper is a better quarterback.
Lane Kiffin is the NFL's youngest coach (32), but mono?
The next talking head who labels Monday night's Colts-Bears game as the "Super Bowl rematch" should be sentenced to covering preseason football for the rest of his or her career.
The only two salient facts so far: The Raiders are better-coached and Alex Smith is carrying himself like a No. 1 pick.
Bernard Hopkins was fined $200,000 for instigating a weigh-in brawl last month against Winky Wright. Mike Tyson never would have survived in this climate.
While other icons let us down: more brilliance from Tiger Woods.
The PGA Tour kicks off its FedEx Cup playoffs next week without Woods. Must not be that important.
A moment of silence: The Warriors' Adonal Foyle Era is over, and who says nice guys finish last? The man walked with a $13 million buyout.
Commissioner Bud Selig said Jason Giambi's donations to charity in part saved him from a steroids-related suspension. Funny, but Barry Bonds probably won't fit through that loophole.
Running back Emmanuel Moody transferred out of USC before the ink dried on his Sports Illustrated cover photo.
Remember the good ol' days when we thought Marcus Vick was the family's bad apple?
Not that Vick needed any more misery, but Falcons owner Arthur Blank is a devout animal-welfare advocate.
Vick's attorneys are doing everything short of reviving the old TV game show "Let's Make A Deal."
One wonders if the fans who don't care what Vick did are the same people who don't care if Bonds juiced his way to a home-run record.
Bee sports columnist Ron Agostini can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org or 578-2302.