Karma is a funny thing, as Earl Hickey would say.
No one in sports has worse karma than Barry Lamar Bonds.
Oakland's Guru/Savior/GM Billy Beane should do what I do every year in my fantasy football magazines with the Madden Curse victim. Cross Bonds' name off all lists. Bonds' averages over his last two "full" seasons are respectable: 128 games, 353 at bats, 27 homers, 71 RBIs, 74 runs, .273 average, .467 on-base percentage and .555 slugging percentage. But it's not worth it.
Many believe Bonds moving to designated hitter will rekindle some offensive spark he's lost toiling away in left field the past few years. That he'll play more and be fresher toward the end of the season.
The man can barely walk.
He'll be 44 next summer playing in his 23rd season.
At some point, the flaxseed oil should wear off, right?
The A's should focus on developing their young talent and shoring up their rotation.
An injury risk such as Bonds does not help, either, especially considering the A's have used the disabled list 22 times this season.
Should the A's follow in the footsteps of the 1975 Brewers and 1935 Boston Braves?
Those teams signed home run kings only to see them fade quicker than Michael J. Fox's family in "Back to the Future."
Hank Aaron had 22 home runs and 96 RBIs in two seasons for the Brewers while Babe Ruth accounted for six homers and 12 RBIs in 72 at-bats for the Braves.
The A's and their fans (me included) deserve better. Plus, the man who holds down the DH spot now — Jack Cust — swings a bat made from a tree that was struck by lightning.
Cust is a natural. He matched Bonds' every step this season, hitting 26 homers and knocking in 82 RBIs in only 121 games.
He's younger, healthier, a thousand times more likable and fits into the A's notoriously laid-back clubhouse.
Bonds would stick out like a pulsating, infected thumb.
Of course, maybe you want the kind of guy who'll take your favorite team down like the Titanic and then blame his teammates.
If that's the case, I know the perfect guy. His name is Barry.