First, congratulations. When your owner, Leona Helmsley, left you $12 million in her will, well, that gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "you lucky dog."
I know you're probably being hounded by every Rover, Fido and Fifi in the country, likely claiming to be a distant relative because we all supposedly evolved from the same domestic wolf. But here's a suggestion to turn some of those greenbacks to a good cause: dog parks.
Being a dog, you know there just aren't that many places where a dog can go off leash to run and play. I'll bet there were times that you would have loved to get out of that oversized kennel of a skyscraper and do some serious running with your dog buddies in a park.
Here in Turlock, our city has agreed to let us have an area in a local park, but we need funds for some fences, a water fountain and other amenities. Dog owners in the community already are contributing, but it would be great if you would consider making a donation. You could be the Andrew Carnegie of the dog world, and years from now there could be hundreds of Trouble Helmsley Dog Parks across the country.
Anyway, it's just something to think about. I know there would be millions of happy dogs and owners that would benefit from your generosity. And when people talk about Trouble the Millionaire Maltese, they would say, "What a good dog!"
Does it get any better than that?
BUDDY THE LABRADOODLE
P.S.: We're inviting dogs and owners to a preview day at our new off-leash site in Turlock on Oct. 6 from 10 a.m. to noon at Sunnyview Park, on Berkeley Avenue about a half-mile south of Turlock High School. Remember to bring a leash and a human who can sign a donation check. The dog treats are on me.
This letter was transcribed by Buddy's owner, Brad Bates, a former mayor of Turlock.