Letters to the Editor

Lance Bernard: Fairy tale begins innocently, has brutal end

Jeremiah Heaton and his 7-year-old daughter, Emily, show off the flag that their family designed as they try to claim a piece of land in the eastern African region of Bir Tawil.
Jeremiah Heaton and his 7-year-old daughter, Emily, show off the flag that their family designed as they try to claim a piece of land in the eastern African region of Bir Tawil. The Associated Press

Let’s see. If Jeremiah Heaton gets recognized by the African Union, then he can claim to be a real state. People will settle in his kingdom and his subjects will need jobs and housing. He will need some infrastructure and a viable economy.

Will his “agricultural endeavors” be sufficient to cover the costs of infrastructure and provide sufficient jobs? Certainly not, so he will have to apply to the United States for foreign aid, which we will surely provide.

Soon the jihadists will move in. Heaton will ask the U.S. for military assistance and we will send in a few military advisers. But then a huge uproar will occur in the U.S. Barack Obama will urge both sides to settle the matter peacefully. John McCain will call for airstrikes, and Nancy Pelosi will blame the Republicans for everything. Princess Emily will see this brewing chaos as the perfect time to act. Her father will be brutally murdered by unknown assailants and Emily will assume the throne. What she wanted all along was to be a queen.

Lance Bernard, Turlock

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