Oh! Hi, officer! What did you pull me over for, sir? Erratic -- I was driving erratic? I was just trying to avoid the potholes and miniature craters. What? No, I didn't think I was on a street in Iraq. I thought I was on McHenry Avenue. Wise guy, am I? Why no, I was just trying to keep my car from being damaged. You know how it is -- they charge you a fortune just to lift the hood.
Also, officer, I had a couple of close calls coming down Scenic Drive -- like other drivers can't see the white line and crowding me into oncoming traffic. Now you wouldn't like it if I wiped out a family of four or five. I know I would never live it down. Maybe the street department could use money to buy white paint to paint the lines. I hope my fine will help.
Thank you, officer. I'll fix that taillight right away.