Letters to the Editor

10 p.m. curfews for everybody!

The Bee and the liberal communist media would like to prevent the Police Department from writing laws they can more easily enforce. Why just revocable permits for nightclubs that allow sinful dancing and drinking? Why not a curfew for all citizens after 10 p.m., except for those with the proper papers allowing them to travel to and from work?

My ambition, being an Army veteran, is to create my own Blackwater-type operation free from the fetters of the Geneva convention, and make some real progress in Iraq, like Blackwater is doing. My heart as a corporate mercenary will always be to return and eventually transform communist America.

The people will obey the police, and us, as we displace them. America will rule the world, and you will have free choice to comply with it in all endeavors. You'll even be permitted to write The Bee, condemn its communist affiliation and express how tired you are of your tax money being used to feed the poor and coddle prisoners.

This, in due course, will make me properly rich, as God created all capitalists to be, unless they are somehow defective, which brings up the point of a national IQ test. Those who fail, thus demonstrating a propensity to criminal activity, would be warehoused in suspended animation.