Buzzz

Fun ways for teens to survive the holidays

The holidays can be full of boredom, embarrassing events involving crazy relatives and broken bones (and we aren't just talking about the meat). Luckily, we've compiled a guide to survive this wonderful time in hopes that by the end of the day you aren't finding yourself envying the roast beef.

Now all you have to do is devise a plan to sit as far away as possible from your Aunt Betty ...

YOU ARE STUCK AT THE KIDS TABLE

  • Tell all the kids that you personally know Hannah Montana/Dora the Explorer/Big Bird. By the end of the day you may have a group of pint-size worshippers.
  • Stick two pieces of celery into your mouth. Do your best impression of a walrus.
  • Start talking gibberish. When the other kids do the same, pretend to understand what they are saying. The parents will freak out.
  • Grab two drumsticks, offer one to the child next to you and sword fight.YOUR RELATIVE IN HER 90S CRITICIZES WHAT YOU ARE WEARING
    • Tell her you left your hoop skirt/trousers and suspenders at home.
  • Agree with her and ask her to knit you a sweater.YOUR LOUD UNCLE ASKS IF YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND OR GIRLFRIEND
    • Say yes, but he/she couldn't come because he/she is traveling with the band/getting that tattoo removed/still on house arrest.
    YOU ARE ASKED TO HELP CLEAN UP
    • Demand money. If they say no, threaten to go on strike. If the Writers Guild can do it, you can, too.
    THE ADULTS START REMINISCING ABOUT THE PAST AND HOW GREAT IT WAS
    • Ask them about the '70s. Those stories can be really funny.
  • Jump in and ask what they remember about the Civil War. See how many glares you get.EVERYONE ASKS YOU ABOUT WHERE YOU WANT TO GO TO COLLEGE, WHEN YOU ARE ALREADY STRESSED ABOUT IT
    • Tell them you would much rather backpack across Europe.
  • Ask your aunts and uncles where they would recommend you go. With any luck their opinions will conflict with your parents', an argument will ensue, and they'll forget you.YOUR COUSIN ELAINE MADE HER HORRIBLE GREEN BEAN CASSEROLE (AGAIN) AND YOU ARE EXPECTED TO EAT IT
    • Declare right then that you have decided to eat only meat.
  • Hide your serving under something else you're also not eating.
  • Ask for a to-go box.THE HOST HAS DECIDED TO MAKE EVERYTHING FANCY THIS YEAR
    • Keep one eye on the host. When she/he unfolds an origami-esque napkin, do the same. When she/he grabs a fork, do the same. Relax. Somebody else has to wash all this stuff.
    YOU HAVE AN EXTREMELY COMPETITIVE FAMILY WHO HAS A TRADITIONAL DOMINO/FOOTBALL/CARD GAME
    • Whatever happens, if you can, let Grandma win.
      Comments