Reading time, two minutes:
Happy Sunday, Modesto Nuts. Enjoy a Randy Johnson fastball with your Easter eggs.
Please, Nuts, do not say, "It's just another game." You'll swing against a first-ballot Hall of Fame pitcher. Make an impression.
The Nuts drew 4,589 on Opening Night due in part to one of minor league baseball's perks: It does not charge $8.50 for beer.
Sign Up and Save
Get six months of free digital access to The Modesto Bee
Nuts second baseman Eric Young Jr. looks like he's spent his life in a weightroom.
Barry Zito made his Giants debut by striking out no one in five innings, which says how far $126 million takes you these days.
Let's see: Pedro Feliz waving at curveballs in the dirt, Armando Benitez on the ropes and everyone else hacking on the first pitch. Yes, this must be the Giants (1-3).
Barry Bonds has refound his youth, until he grabs again at that hamstring.
In case you never thought a ballpark would be named for a casino, we give you Chukchansi Park, home of the Fresno Grizzlies.
The Golden State Warriors would be closing in on their long-sought playoff berth if they had gotten any help from the Kings or the Lakers.
Kansas State is furious over Bob Huggins' bolting to West Virginia after one season. The man's word matches his teams' graduation rate over the years. What did the school expect?
One week, schools fire winning coaches. The next week, coaches bail for a better job. From now on, factor out the word "loyalty." No such thing.
Kentucky sought Billy D (Donovan) and settled on Billy G (Gillispie), the latter a former Baylor scout at the Modesto Junior College Tournament.
Why Tennessee coach Pat Summitt is the best: 15 seconds left vs. North Carolina in the NCAA semifinals, up by three, and the Vols execute a perfect inbounds play to an 89-percent free-throw shooter. Game over.
Incredible: The late Eddie Robinson, one of most remarkable coaches of all time, lived his life devoid of bitterness. Makes sense. He couldn't have won 408 games with a chip on his shoulder.
Modesto's Suzy Powell tossed 208-8 in the discus last weekend at Stanford. She's serious about a third trip to the Olympics.
Tiger Woods amazes each day, but never more than when — after he's distracted — aborts his swing on the way down. Only he can do that.
Woods stopped his downswing after he saw the shadow of a flying bird. Augusta National will ban all birds this weekend.
Woods twice knocked the ball into Rae's Creek but trails by only five. If I'm the rest of the field, I'm thinking this one is still Tiger's to lose.
Funny, I sat down to watch the Masters and I swear it was the U.S. Open. All pars and grief.
Sad sight: We'll cheer for Arnold Palmer when he's 23 over par, not Seve Ballesteros.
One of them, maybe both, will be ex-Kings before next season: Eric Musselman and Geoff Petrie.
To shock-jock Don Imus: Bring the Rutgers women's team into your studio. Only then does your "apology" mean anything.
Cheap advice for the Nuts: When you see the Big Unit before the game, smile and say hello. Don't get him mad.
There are no rules against brushbacks on Easter.