Agostini: Reading time, two minutes

last updated: October 04, 2008 12:34:47 AM

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Reading time, two minutes:

Welcome, Lane Kiffin, to the He Owes Me Money Club. Al Davis will hear your appeal. Stand in line, right behind Mike Shanahan.

Davis values coaches much like he values slow running backs.

Tom Cable is the Raiders' interim coach. Combine him and the 49ers' J.T. O'Sullivan, and they'd set a world record for frequent flyer mileage.

Ex-Raider Warren Sapp ripped his old team this week. Sapp was in good spirits after beating Kim Kardashian in "Dancing With The Stars."

Kiffin was fired "for cause" 'cause Davis hated him.

Modesto Junior College can avoid another 1-4 start by beating Sacramento City tonight.

All it took was high school football to end the drought.

Tony Mandarich admitted he used steroids at Michigan State. Sounds like he's trying to sell a book.

An investigation cleared the Chinese gymnasts from any under-age violations. File under, "Yeah, sure."

Ex-49er Lawrence Phillips goes to prison for 10 years for assault. Talk about getting tackled for a loss.

Thunder, the mascot, has been retired by the Warriors. Baron Davis leaves, and the party is over.

Whenever Cal's Jeff Tedford hits the default button, it flashes, "Nate Longshore."

May be the most shocking in-progress football score of the season: Alabama 31, Georgia 0.

Superman in red: Fresno State's Ryan Mathews, on third-and-22, catches a pass, hurdles a UCLA cornerback and scores a touchdown.

Superman in blue: Nevada quarterback Colin Kaepernick (Pitman) accounts for 416 yards and five touchdowns to beat archrival UNLV.

The Cubs will recover if they can avoid all those flying billy goats, black cats and Bartmans in LA.

He'll make his 52nd consecutive start Sunday against the 49ers: Logan Mankins (Mariposa High), guard, Patriots.

Jake Locker's injury might be the beginning of the end for Tyrone Willingham at Washington.

It took only one loss for a Terrell Owens eruption in Dallas.

This just in: Manny Ramirez to the Dodgers and Jason Bay to the Red Sox was a great trade.

Still doesn't seem right: Derek Jeter not in the playoffs.

Today's International Festival welcomes a special guest: Modesto's three-time Olympian, Suzy Powell.

The NBA spent millions to tell us disgraced ref Tim Donaghy acted alone. Surprise -- money can't buy trust.

Finally lost its mojo: The Angels' Rally Monkey.

And you thought Kiffin vs. Davis was vicious: Ken Shamrock vs. Kimbo Slice tonight.

The Raiders are off this week. Plenty of time to prepare for another crisis.

Sit down, Coach Cable, for a quick briefing from Mike White, Joe Bugel, Jon Gruden, Norv Turner, Bill Callahan, Art Shell and Kiffin.

Bee sports columnist Ron Agostini can be reached at ragostini@modbee.com or 578-2302.

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