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Friday, May. 16, 2008

Parent's Little Helper

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  • BABY MAMA
    PG-13

    What it's about: A career-oriented single woman decides to have a baby at 37 and hires a trashy, goofy surrogate to carry her egg to term.

    Kid attractor factor: Amy Poehler, Tina Fey and Dax Shepard, toilet humor and gags.

  • Language: A bit of jarring profanity.

    Sex: Examples of the old-fashioned way of making babies turn up.

    Drugs: Alcohol and cigarettes, and a harder drug reference.

    Parents advisory: Relatively benign how-to-make-babies comedy with a "Saturday Night Live" lineage.

  • THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA: PRINCE CASPIAN
    PG

    What it's about: The Pevensie children return to Narnia for a new war against a new evil, and are aided by the dashing Prince Caspian.

    Kid attractor factor: A dream world filled with fantastical creatures.

    Violence: Almost constant, with two set battle pieces, slashings, impalings, killings aplenty and at least one beheading.

    Language: Disney clean.

    Sex: A serious teen smooch.

    Drugs: None.

    Parents advisory: Being a Christian allegory does not excuse the MPAA for giving this one a free ride in the violence department. Generally bloodless, but it's still the most violent PG film in ages.

  • DR. SEUSS' HORTON HEARS A WHO!
    G

    What it's about: A nerdy elephant hears a noisy from a tiny dust speck and comes to understand that there's a whole civilization living on that dust speck.

    Kid Attractor Factor: Lovely animation from the folks who made the "Ice Age" movies, and who doesn't love Dr. Seuss?

    Violence: A vulture and assorted chimps try to do in the dust speck.

    Language: Clean as Jim Carrey can make it.

    Sex: None.

    Drugs: None.

    Parents advisory: The longer treatment of this terrific and lean Dr. Seuss book gives you a deeper appreciation of all the ideas about tolerance, the fragility of life and being willing to hold unpopular opinions when you're morally right.

  • THE FORBIDDEN KINGDOM
    PG-13

    What it's about: A bullied teen is summoned to ancient China, where he falls in with martial-arts masters.

    Kid Attractor factor: Magical martial arts and comedy from Jackie Chan and Jet Li.

    Violence: Slapstick martial arts mixed with deadlier moments of combat. Not much blood, though.

    Language: Quite clean.

    Sex: Flirtation between boy and Sparrow, the dishy dart-thrower from days of yore.

    Drugs: One martial-arts master is the Drunken Immortal, forever popping a cork.

    Parents advisory: Not exactly a movie for children

  • IRON MAN
    PG-13

    What it's about: A hard-partying inventor and heir to a weapons-manufacturing fortune builds a supercharged iron suit to try to set things right.

    Kid Attractor Factor: It's Iron Man.

    Violence: There are deaths, brawls, the threat of a massacre.

    Language: Quite clean.

    Sex: Iron Man likes to chase skirts.

    Drugs: Lots of cocktails are consumed.

    Parents advisory: A bit more adult than the Spider-Man movies, but pitched in a similar tone. A bit violent but 12-and-ups should see that there are consequences to violence.

  • MADE OF HONOR
    PG-13

    What it's about: A lifelong ladies' man realizes that his best friend is the love of his life, and she's about to marry some Scottish guy.

    Kid Attractor Factor: Patrick Dempsey, Michelle Monaghan and a lot of flirting and dating.

    Violence: A punch is thrown. And caught. On the chin.

    Language: Profanity here and there.

    Sex: One-night and one-night-per-week stands by the womanizing leading man.

    Drugs: A little alcohol, especially in the opening scenes.

    Parents advisory: More a date movie than something your average 12-and-under would like, it's for teens old enough to hold hands and share a box of popcorn, and their parents.

  • SPEED RACER
    PG

    What it's about: Idealistic, independent young driver battles long odds to foil the cartel of evil, cheating racing sponsors.

    Kid attractor factor: Eye candy galore.

    Language: Gratuitous profanity.

    Sex: None, despite Christina Ricci.

    Drugs: None, unless you count poison.

    Parents advisory: It's childish enough to be attractive to young children, but the plot demands many a tedious discussion/explanation scene, when all most kids want is more chimp moments. Fine for 9 and older.

  • 21
    PG-13

    What it's about: Math whizzes at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology team up to break the bank in Vegas.

    Kid Attractor Factor: Young people.

    Violence: A beat-down.

    Language: Not that rough.

    Sex: Implied.

    Drugs: Lots of drinking, some smoking.

    Parents advisory: The lesson that only a sucker gambles is implicit, and while the film doesn't touch on gambling as addiction, it doesn't glamorize it, either.

  • WHAT HAPPENS IN VEGAS
    PG-13

    What it's about: A girl meets a guy, drinks are drunk and a Vegas wedding ensues.

    Kid Attractor Factor: Ashton Kutcher, Cameron Diaz.

    Violence: Sucker punches, several of them. Crotch shots, too.

    Language: Not as much profanity as you might expect, but still worth a PG-13.

    Sex: Yes, that happens in Vegas.

    Drugs: Yes, with alcohol serving as Love Potion Number Nine.

    Parents advisory: Not remotely as raunchy as most recent romantic comedies, it's still a bit much for 12-and-unders. Take the PG-13 to the bank.

    -- Roger Moore,

    The Orlando Sentinel

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