Interpol reported that South America is now a hotbed of illegal human fat peddling for cosmetic laboratories. Human fat-trafficking rings in Peru are now selling cellulite to European cosmetic doctors for $60,000 per gallon. Kim Kardashian just realized she’s sitting on a gold mine.
Taco Bell announced it’s going to open the first Taco Bell restaurant in Japan. No word yet on the anticipated whale meat burrito. Last year Taco Bell pulled lion meat from its menu when PETA protested, however, lions announced they will continue to eat humans every chance they get.
California gun rights activists are lobbying legislators in Sacramento to change the state’s law which bans Californians from openly carrying handguns. The ban has a few exceptions. The law allows exemptions for hunting and shooting events, such as changing lanes on the Hollywood Freeway.
The Inglewood City Council approved Rams owner Stan Kroenke’s construction plan for a new NFL stadium in Los Angeles that’s equipped with a retractable roof. The roof is vital. It’s always 76 degrees in Los Angeles, but if the cloud cover isn’t exactly right, we all look 10 years older.
Treasury investigators said they found IRS official Lois Lerner’s emails that may show the White House used the IRS to target conservatives. The IRS testified that Lois’s emails were lost when her computer crashed. It crashed when Barack Obama threw it out of Air Force One at 40,000 feet.
Washington, D.C., officially legalized the possession and home growing of marijuana at midnight Thursday. The city is now the only national capital in the world where pot is legal. The next day the president confronted Michelle and claimed half of her White House garden as community property.
Hamilton is host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. Email Argus@ArgusHamilton.com.