Turlock jokes: The air surrounding Turlock smells like one huge cow fart. It is amazing that they allow open-flame fireplaces in the city. The explosion could injure thousands of people.
In Turlock, if you have mud on your shoes, it simply means you went outside that day.
There is so much methane in the air around Turlock that people just leave their gas caps off and their cars are perpetually fueled.
The largest vehicle dealership in Turlock is for tractors.
In Turlock, overalls are considered formal wear if your shirt is clean.
Everything grows in Turlock, especially mold. Most people just furnish their homes in green so it's not so noticeable.
ROGER DEAN VOLKER