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One early August evening, with Christmas Eve still about five months away, Francine DiCiano was pretty sure it wasn't Santa Claus making all that racket on the roof of the United Way headquarters in Modesto.
She went for a look-see, but saw nothing. But as she described the noises to her staff the next day, the agency's interim CEO heard them again. Her staff heard them, too. They got outside in time to see a man and woman shimmy down a sliding fire-escape-style ladder, jump on their bicycles and ride away.
A United Way employee went up to investigate and discovered they'd turned the roof into a penthouse.
"He leaned over and said, 'They've got a mattress up here!' " DiCiano said. "Then he leaned over again and said, 'They've got rope lighting up here!' And then he said, 'They've got a DVD player up here!' "
Each time, she said, he seemed a bit more incredulous.
These uninvited guests found a section of the roof that isn't visible from the street. In fact, DiCiano said, you'd have to stand way back in the parking lot to see their encampment from ground level.
They got up there by cutting the lock that secures the ladder attached to the building, well above the ground. The ladder is designed to prevent unauthorized persons and you can't get much more unauthorized than a rooftop squatter from getting on top of the building.
In fact, there is slick metal plating around the base, supposedly making it difficult, if not impossible, for someone to use the ladder without pulling the sliding section down.
Of course, none of that counts to people who are really resourceful, determined and exude a brazen disregard for others' property, as this couple showed.
Brazen? They even put their own lock on the ladder for future use.
"They had quite a set-up," DiCiano said, who suspects they were there for about two to three weeks, primarily at night.
The inflatable mattress had a heating element.
The building's heating/air conditioning unit has an exterior electrical outlet so that the service types won't need to throw extension cords onto the roof when they make repairs. The couple took advantage, plugging in an electrical outlet strip with six receptacles.
Hey, what self-respecting trespassers would forget surge protection?
The rope lights a string of Christmas lights inside clear plastic tubing provided mood, DiCiano said.
"They had an ambience going, too," she said.
They brought a lengthy orange extension cord, candles, backpacks, a propane torch and plenty of clothing. Staff also found a Social Security card, some knives, syringes and vials of drugs, all of which the agency turned over to police.
And, of course, the pair left behind the obligatory pile of rotting garbage.
Employees replaced the lock on the ladder, but the couple returned a few nights later. This time, with the agility of Jackie Chan, the stick-to-itiveness of Spider-Man and probably the help of some mind- altering substances, they scaled the building without cutting the lock again. They somehow got past the metal plating and made their ascents.
Days later, DiCiano noticed it had become very warm inside the office.
"I'm wondering, 'Where's my air conditioning?' " she said.
Alas, the AC unit at a charity whose slogan is "Thanks to You, It Works For All of Us," didn't work at all.
She summoned a repairman, who discovered that the couple managed to rig the airflow to blow toward their encampment instead of inside the building, she said.
Who needs a cooling delta breeze when you've got free AC, courtesy of the United Way?
"The repair guy said, 'Those guys are good. I could hire them,' " DiCiano said. "It was amazing."
Not to mention both illegal and expensive. The Modesto police have added patrols, she said. Repairs to the air- conditioning unit cost about $2,000 because the couple stole its transformer.
The intrusion was the last thing an agency relying on the public's generosity needed, especially with contributions lagging because of the economy. At a recent board meeting, DiCiano had to explain why her monthly expenses were higher than normal.
"Because we had squatters on the roof," she told them. "We couldn't believe it."
Jeff Jardine's column appears Sundays, Tuesdays and Thursday in Local News. He can be reached at jjardine@modbee.com or 578-2383.
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