Friday, Jun. 20, 2008

Drive to Survive: Woman credits mind over matter in cancer battle

One afternoon in 1997, Brenda Melching and her granddaughter Ashley sat in a bedroom, talking. Melching could have been a bit lost in thought, having just learned her breast cancer had returned. It was at that point that Ashley, always an outspoken child, bravely blurted out the question on her mind.

"Grandma," the girl said, "are you going to be here to go to my high school graduation?"

The question caught Melching by surprise. Truth was, she had her doubts. She knew that those whose cancer comes back face decidedly long odds. She looked at her granddaughter and answered as best she could.

"I'll be there if I can."

That was more than 10 years ago. Ashley, now 18, is on target to graduate from Oakdale High School next year. And the way things are looking, Melching will be one of the family members present to mark the occasion.

"When she asked me that, it made me set a goal for myself, and, after that, I became determined to make her graduation," Melching said. "I kind of believe in mind over matter. I think your mind's strong. It can make you sick, and it can make you well. Maybe not always, but I believe the mind can be very powerful."

Melching knows a lot about mind over matter. The 57-year-old Oakdale woman has been living with cancer off and on for about 20 years. She has endured hundreds of chemotherapy treatments and is resigned to the fact that she'll probably be on chemo for the rest of her life.

'It's just a survival thing'

But you wouldn't know any of that by looking at her. She appears as healthy as anyone, with thick hair and a relaxed smile that makes conversation a breeze. Cancer survivors searching for inspiration need look no further than Melching: She is the embodiment of survival.

"People say I'm strong, but I don't really think I'm that strong," Melching said. "It's just a survival thing. I have to be this way.

"When you first get cancer, everything you hear about it is scary. You'll read things in the paper or see things on TV that send you into a panic. But I can talk about cancer now because I'm used to it. It's been a part of my life for so long. Yes, there are still times once in a while when you realize you could actually die from this. But everybody's going to die, so what good does it do to think about that?"

Melching was born in Salinas and spent most of her life in the San Jose area until she and her husband bought a home in Oakdale eight years ago. In 1989, after finding a marble-sized lump, she went to a doctor and had a mammogram.

Her doctor told her the results showed it wasn't cancer. Two years later, after the lump had grown and began to ache, Melching said, she returned to the same doctor, who realized he'd made a mistake. He sent Melching to a surgeon that day, and a biopsy revealed it was indeed cancer -- and it had spread to her lymph nodes. She underwent surgery two days later, followed by chemotherapy that succeeded in ridding her body of the disease.

"He should have given me a biopsy, and women should know that," Melching said. "I thought if a mammogram said things were OK, then they were. But that's not the case if you're under 50 because of the density of the breast. If there's a lump, it should be biopsied."

In 1997, Melching developed a persistent cough. She went to her oncologist, who tested her and said her chest X-rays looked good and that she was fine. When the cough didn't improve after a few more days, Melching decided to return and insist on more tests. That led to a CT scan that revealed her cancer had returned -- this time to her lungs and, later, her liver.