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Monday, Nov. 02, 2009
Every Monday Matters: A reminder that that there's a mentor in all of us
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closeWhile I was sitting at my desk working recently, I received an e-mail from Uganda with the subject line "WE MISS YOU."
After my initial reaction of "Hmm, is this SPAM?" I decided to open it ... and then I was crushed.
Six months ago, I housed two orphans from Uganda and their chaperone.
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FACTS
- There are 3 million children currently enrolled in a mentoring program.
- 15 million youth are in need of mentoring. If they don't get it, they're more likely to not reach adulthood successfully. These youth are:
— 73 percent more likely to begin using alcohol
— 63 percent more likely to skip a class
— 54 percent more likely to begin using illegal drugs
—48 percent more likely to skip school
- Mentors help children develop self-confidence, relationship skills, and a positive attitude toward school.
- Nearly 70 percent of inner city fourth- graders are unable to read at a basic level.
- One out of three public high school students won't graduate.
- One in five teens seriously considers suicide annually, approximately 1 million attempt suicide and between 1,000 and 2,000 of these attempts are fatal.
- Every Monday Matters Web site
They were a part of the Watoto Child's Choir -- a choir of orphaned Ugandan children that travels the world to put on performances and bring the spirit of Uganda to the world. Having these three amazing young people (Moses, Edwin and Steven) in my house for a week was one of the best things I have ever done in my life.
They taught me about love, appreciation, gratitude, wonderment, hope, faith, joy ... and every other amazing positive and redeeming thing about life I could ever want to learn.
The theory was that I was the "giver" by letting them stay in my home. The reality is that they gave me far more than I gave them.
As I opened the e-mail, I saw a screen grab of a video. It was Steven...so I hit "play." For the next two minutes I sat, watched and
listened as Steven told me how much he loves me and filled me in on the children.
"Edwin and Moses are doing well. They still wear their YOU MATTER T-shirts and they truly believe it more and more everyday. We all miss you and hope to see you again."
Yes, I was crushed.
I don't have children of my own. I have a beautiful niece and nephew (Kate and Gavin), and I have taught hundreds of kids to swim, but my role as a father has yet to begin. Or has it?
In addition to Edwin, Moses, Kate, Gavin and the children of friends of mine, I have also spent the past eight months working in schools.
We have written an amazing K-12 school curriculum, based off our book, that is geared towards making sure our youth understand how much they matter. They matter to themselves, their families, their school, their community and beyond.
In a very short period of time, we now have tens of thousands of children engaged in our curriculum in schools all across the country.
This has led to speaking engagements at schools, e-mails from students, and one-on-one conversations with kids ranging from 5-18 years old. And, like Edwin and Moses, it has been an eye-opener, because every day I realize how much I am personally influencing the molding of these beautiful lives.
And, I would assume that it has to feel similar to fathering my own children.
The point of all of this is that we, adults, have a huge responsibility to help our youth grow up to be happy, healthy, loving, caring, contributing, confident adults.
Whether it is housing ophans from Uganda, getting involved with schools, parenting, uncle-ing, aunt-ing, or any other sort of "ing" we can do, we must assume our responsibility as role models as though it is our mission in life. These children need us ... and we need them.
Last week, I received a different kind of e-mail. It was from an eithth-grade student from Florida that I met while speaking. His e-mail was of a different nature ... it was about suicide. I remember his face and his story. It was not an easy one.
And it taught me something ... he needed us (the world). If two orphaned Ugandan children who lost their parents to HIV at the age of 4 can still find joy, peace, promise, and excitement for life, I am convinced that so can the majority of children here in our country.
And we can help. We have to help.
Let's work together to make sure we are always looking to do more listening, mentoring, sharing, loving, laughing, emoting, leading, inspiring, reassuring, educating and being the best we can be so our youth can be the best they can be. At the end of the day, they are all OUR children.
Children matter. You matter.
TAKE ACTION TODAY
1. Find a mentoring program near you and apply to become a mentor.
2. Most mentoring programs will pair you with a child based on your skill set and the child's needs.
3. If you have your own children or know children who could use a mentor, be a self-starter and create your own mentoring program.
4. Once a week, spend an hour or two with your mentee doing everyday activities like homework, playing sports and having simple conversation.
5. Set goals with your mentee and share in the excitement of their achievement and growth.
Children are just as capable of doing great things as any other person, but many times they are not equipped with the right foundation, knowledge, encouragement and tools to make the right choices. The decisions they make can change the entire course of their future.
You may not know what to say or do, but you will quickly realize that what matters most to them is that you care. When one teaches, two learn.
Visit EveryMondayMatters.com to buy the book, get involved and share your stories about making a difference in the world.
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