Tuesday, Mar. 03, 2009

Family Film Guide

Is this or that film age-appropriate for your child? A guide for mom and dad before you send junior to the movies.

CONFESSIONS OF A SHOPAHOLIC
PG

What it's about: A young journalist begins a column for a financial planning magazine but secretly has a serious lack of planning in her own finances.

Kid attractor factor: Isla Fisher is the young woman who can't say no -- to playing dress-up, or charging things on her credit card.

Violence: None.

Language: A smattering of profanity.

Sex: Who has time?

Drugs: Tequila shots to forget all that shopping.

Parents advisory: A little more cautionary than perhaps was intended, still not suitable for 12-and-unders.

CORALINE
PG

What it's about: A child finds an alternate version of her life behind the walls of her new home. But is it a better version?

Kid attractor factor: Dark wit and 3-D stop-motion animation.

Violence: Threatened.

Language: Child mild.

Sex: "Suggestive humor," quite tame.

Drugs: None.

Parents advisory: If you've raised them on "The Nightmare Before Christmas," they're ready for this.

FIRED UP
PG-13

What it's about: Two on-the-make high-schoolers ditch football for cheerleading camp, hoping to "score" big time.

Kid attractor factor: Teens talking hip, making out and behaving badly.

Violence: Football, threats of a beat-down.

Language: Innuendo, and how.

Sex: Nothing graphic, implied nudity.

Drugs: Beer is consumed at parties.

Parents advisory: Politically incorrect, yes, but not particularly raunchy by hormonal teen-comedy standards.

FRIDAY THE 13TH
R

What it's about: Young people visit Crystal Lake, where Jason slashed people to death 29 years ago, and meet the same fate.

Kid attractor factor: It's a horror movie -- you know they're going to try to sneak into it.

Violence: "Slasher movie" should be on the poster.

Language: Profanity, and a lot of it.

Sex: Fairly graphic, too.

Drugs: Pot, alcohol of various vintages.

Parents advisory: If it's not the slashing, it's the sex. Keep your kids out of this.

HOTEL FOR DOGS
PG

What it's about: Orphaned kids take in and take care of stray dogs in an abandoned big-city hotel.

Kid attractor factor: Oodles of poodles, bushels of boxers and dozens of dachshunds.

Violence: Slapstick, though dogs that go to the pound face death.

Language: Disney clean.

Sex: Teenagers have been known to sneak a smooch.

Drugs: None.

Parents advisory: Perfectly suitable for small children, say 10 and under.

INKHEART
PG

What it's about: A girl and her dad flee literary villains because when Dad reads a story aloud, books come alive.

Kid attractor factor: Fantasy, monsters, adventure, special effects.

Violence: Threats, fisticuffs, guns are wielded with menace.

Language: A single d-word.

Sex: Nary a hint.

Drugs: None.

Parents advisory: Entirely too wordy and scary for the very young; fine for 10 and up.

THE PINK PANTHER 2
PG

What it's about: A thief is stealing the world's most precious objects, so Inspector Clouseau joins a "dream team" of detectives to try and solve the case.

Kid attractor factor: Slapstick comedy, and lots of it.

Violence: Rednecks assault the drama teacher.

Language: Quite clean.

Sex: Leering innuendo.

Drugs: Wine is spilled.

Parents advisory: A little more small-child-friendly than the first Steve Martin "Panther."

TAKEN
PG-13

What it's about: Naive high school girls travel to Paris and are kidnapped, with ex-CIA agent dad of one their only hope of rescue.

Kid attractor factor: Action, and lots of it.

Violence: Lots and lots of it.

Language: Not much profanity.

Sex: "Sexual content" in this case means sex-slave trade.

Drugs: Girls are doped up to make them compliant.

Parents advisory: Pretty rough stuff for anybody under 15.

TYLER PERRY'S MADEA GOES TO JAIL
PG-13

What it's about: Tyler Perry's out-of-control auntie lands in the joint, and an assistant DA tries to save a friend who has become a hooker.

Kid attractor factor: Madea, an old woman who busts heads, back-talks and packs heat while dispensing her brand of justice.

Violence: An off-camera rape, choking, slapstick brawls.

Language: Virtually no profanity.

Sex: Prostitution is a major plot point.

Drugs: Pot is smoked.

Parents advisory: A little rougher than typical Tyler Perry fare.