Parenting Tips

By Tom McMahon
King Features Syndicate

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For at least eight decades, the interactions and quarrels between parents and teens have not changed much. The same four squabbles have endured over time: messy bedrooms, curfews, clothing style and leisure time.

Beyond these specific conflicts, most teens and parents share surprisingly similar principles.

Some parents can ignore a messy bedroom, while others cannot. I recommend ignoring as much as possible. If you can't, a battle will erupt. In one corner of the ring stands a parent who is grossed out by the sight and smell of her child's room. In the other corner, a teen proclaims, "It's my room, so leave me alone."

I recommend offering your teen an olive branch by explaining that as long as her bedroom door is shut, and the fumes of her six-week-old baloney sandwich cannot escape into other rooms, she can keep her room however she wants. However, if she leaves her door open, she must clean her room within 24 hours. You also can take away your teen's phone until he cleans his room. That will get immediate results!

CURFEW STRATEGY WORKS THROUGH THE AGES: The curfew that my father used more than 50 years ago (time doesn't change a lot) was to put an alarm clock on the hall table, set for the time I was to be home from a date. I would then turn off the alarm if I arrived on time. If not, big trouble for me! -- Nancy M., Ogden, Utah

A LESSON ABOUT TEEN CLOTHES: I realized that each week, I was washing twice the amount of clothes for my 13-year-old daughter that I would consider normal, even for a teenager. Often, a top or pants seemed barely worn -- probably tried on, rejected and left on the floor before being thrown into the laundry. In part to teach my daughter to take better care of her clothes, I turned her laundry over to her completely. I wrote out washing and drying instructions for each kind of load, and I helped her as needed. I now enjoy some extra free time and have noticed that she does a lot less laundry than I did for her. A lesson learned! -- N.K., Wilmette, Ill.

ICE CREAM ON THE FLOOR: Young children sometimes lose ice cream from their cones. The simple solution is to place a drinking straw right through the center of the ice cream to the bottom of the cone. That will keep it from falling off. -- Rose G., Fremont

LOVING THEM ENOUGH TO SAY "NO": Loving children doesn't mean never saying no; it means loving them enough to say no. -- Anonymous, Pittsburgh

E-mail Tom McMahon at tom@kidtips.com.