Monday, December 01, 2008

By TOM McMAHON

last updated: March 18, 2008 04:45:44 AM

Kid Tips

A lot has been written about the effects of divorce on children. In my opinion, Edward Teber, the author of "Helping Your Children With Divorce," offers the most relevant and concise advice for parents who want to minimize the negative effects of divorce on their children:"One of the best determinants of how well a child adjusts to a divorce is whether or not the ex-spouses support each other in their continuing relationship as parents. Children benefit when both parents coexist peacefully and accept that their ex-spouse is important to their children."

Secondary in importance is continuity between the two parents and the environments in which the children live. Ex-spouses should agree on rules and discipline, chores, mealtimes and bedtimes. The more continuity there is in your children's lives, the more content they will be. They find great comfort in family routines.

Third, practice authoritative parenting, the parenting style that is often associated with positive outcomes. Authoritative parents are warm and nurturing, they encourage communication, yet they set clear and appropriate rules for their children.

Thanks to you readers for sending in so many clever kid tips.

DIVORCED DAD VISITS KIDS VIA WEBCAM -- I never thought that a high-tech gadget would make a difference in my family after a divorce, but it has. A Webcam (small camera) connected to my computer and another one connected to my ex-wife's computer allow my two children and me to visit via cyberspace in a sort of videoconference. Because I now live a few hours away by car from my two children, the Webcams keep us connected during the weeks when my ex-wife has custody of the children. The kids can even hold up things for me to see, such as a school project. Other divorced or separated parents might want to give it a try.

-- Anonymous

Note: Webcams also can be a fun way for kids to stay connected to grandparents. Some computers, including Apple products, have built-in Webcams. (T.M.) PREVENTING EAR INFECTIONS Parents can reduce the chance of their babies getting ear infections.

First, a baby should never be allowed to lie on his back or side while drinking a bottle. The liquid can back up into his eustachian tubes and cause blockage in the ears. This is a common cause of ear infections.

Second, breast-feeding encourages a feeding position that keeps the baby's head slightly elevated, thereby limiting the possibility of liquid draining to the ears. Also, breast milk contains antibodies that can prevent ear infections.

-- Adel Y., Fremont

LEFTOVERS SERVED WITH A FLAIR -- I have found a fun and creative way to use up the leftovers in our refrigerator. Once a week, I make a list of all the leftovers available for dinner, then

I put on my fanciest apron, add a few elegant French words to my vocabulary and begin taking orders from each family member. I rattle off the complete menu for that evening, including drinks. The kids love it, my husband rolls his eyes and I get an empty fridge.

-- L.A.A., Salt Lake City

CHECK OUT TOYS -- Toys can clutter up a child's room in no time. To discourage this, we started a practice of checking out toys from a large cabinet that had a safety lock on it. Each child could check out three toys at a time. When they finished playing with those toys, they could check out three more. The cabinet contained toys (games, puzzles, etc.), but books always were available in each child's room.

-- Bonnie L., Fremont

Send your tips to tom@kidtips.com, call 925-461-6080 (fax/voice message) or write to Kid Tips, 888 Seventh Ave., New York, NY 10019.

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