Monday, December 01, 2008

By SUE NOWICKI
snowicki@modbee.com

last updated: February 16, 2008 04:54:41 AM

When Lynette Stime was living in Seattle, she heard about a job to head a new Bethany Christian Services office in Modesto.

"I promised them two years," she said. "Here I am, 26 years later."

As director, Stime oversees 28 staff members at offices in Modesto and Fresno, with outreach social workers in the Bay Area, Redding and Sacramento. The agency's coverage is from Kern County to the Oregon border and from the Sierra to the Bay Area.

The nonprofit agency helps women dealing with unplanned pregnancies to come up with a plan. Although adoption, abortion and keeping the child are all mentioned, the encouragement is for the women to carry the baby to term.

Because most women are referred by crisis pregnancy centers, Stime said, "very few choose abortion after coming to us. The pregnancy centers see a lot more women making that crisis decision. For most who are further along and coming to see us, most are considering adoption or keeping the child.

"One thing that is true is that while we promote adoption, we're helping her make an informed choice. We're not about persuading them one way or the other. We provide counseling for (a woman) regardless of her decision."

The agency sees about 150 women each year, plus their family members or boyfriends, she said. Of those, fewer than 20 stay at Bethany's House, a home for pregnant women adjoining the office complex in north Modesto. "Most don't need housing," she said.

Those who are pregnant range in age from about 18 to 47, although Bethany once helped an 11-year-old who was pregnant through incest. It was licensed as a group home at that time.

The agency also provides foster care for infants as needed, a list of adoptive parents and international adoptions, as well as post-placement services. Services to birth moms are free; the agency is funded strictly from nongovernment sources -- individuals, churches and adoption fees.

Stime said the women who seek Bethany's services come from a variety of backgrounds.

"Some have substance-abuse issues," she said. "Some have been abused. Some have been homeless. Some have been in college and need a break to make their decision."

From two to five in no time

One of Stime's favorite stories is about a 20-year-old college student who lived in the Bay Area with her boyfriend when she discovered she was pregnant.

"She wasn't ready to parent a child and went to an abortion clinic, but it happened to be closed that day," Stime said. "About a month later, she went again, but it was closed because they were at a staff meeting. At that point, she realizes, 'Maybe I shouldn't be doing this.' She ends up talking with an adoptive family going through Bethany."

The woman contacted a pregnancy center, which put her in touch with Bethany.

"Five weeks later, she gave birth to triplet boys," Stime said. "During those five weeks, she selected an adoptive family.

"We do open adoptions 90 percent of the time. That's when the birth parents select the family of their choice to adopt their child. We help them sort out what that kind of relationship might look like over the life of the child, whether it's sharing pictures and letters or simply exchanging contact information. It really varies.

"This family was in their early 40s and not sure they would ever be parents. They went from a couple to a family of five overnight. One of the questions people always ask is, 'Did the boys stay together?' We never split up multiples."

She said the birth mom and adoptive parents communicate regularly with each other, "and everybody is doing really great."

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