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Modesto's Bob Piccinini attended the Super Bowl last week and, in no doubt his best move of the day, left at halftime. Too wet.
The Bears' Rex Grossman chided the media before the game for being ignorant. Excuse us, but his two fourth-quarter interceptions were dripping with ignorance.
Grossman was as terrible as advertised, but I don't mean that in a bad way.
If you bet that the pass-reception yardage by Atwater's Bernard Berrian would exceed Tiger Woods' final round at Dubai, you lost. Tiger shot 69. Berrian totaled only 38 yards.
You would have won if Grossman had not thrown behind/underthrown a wide-open Berrian for one of the interceptions.
Grossman, meet Neil O'Donnell, Tony Eason and David Woodley. You're bonded for life.
Meanwhile, the Colts' Kelvin Hayden is paired with another one-play Super Bowl wonder: the Raiders' Jack Squirek.
Every once in a while, Peyton Manning drags a bucket of water onto the practice field and works with wet footballs — another reason why he's a Super Bowl champion.
Until further notice: Budweiser is still king of Super Bowl commercials.
Bob Dylan has purchased a mansion near a golf course in Scotland. Wonder if he putts like a rolling stone.
Dylan on the golf course is living proof that the times they are a-changin'.
One of the best-kept secrets: Dylan teed it up during the counter-culture '60s.
There's no better cure for a dry winter than the AT&T Pebble Beach National Pro-Am.
No one was hurt when the pine tree crashed to the ground at Spyglass Hill. Even better: The pine turned into a handy prop for Bill Murray.
The Phillies' Ryan Howard pounded 58 home runs and made only $355,000. That's $6,120.69 per longball. Cheap.
Modesto Christian defensive end Zach Sudfeld will walk on at Stanford ... and introduce himself to defensive end Levirt Griffin (Modesto High).
And on the other end of all that signing-day hype: San Jose State's Dwight Lowery, an unheralded defensive back and, one season later, a first-team All-American.
Why both sides of the Bay cheer the Cowboys' hiring of Wade Phillips: Norv Turner remains a 49er, and Phillips leaves the Chargers.
If you watched the Arena Football League commercial touting its March 4 opening, you may have noticed a familiar face: Philadelphia Soul quarterback Tony Graziani (Downey High).
For all the Chris Webber-haters: The Pistons are 9-2 since they acquired Webber, who ripped the Lakers for 18 points and 11 rebounds.
Commissioner Bud Selig virtually declared baseball steroids-free this week. In other news, Tinker Bell is the new heavyweight champion.
Bank on it: A Super Bowl championship will not make, or break, Tony Dungy's life.
The jarring hit the Colts' Matt Giordano (Fresno) laid on Bears tight end Desmond Clark was seen often by Cal fans.
Prince's playing his guitar through a downpour was unforgettable. He nearly invented a new Super Bowl treat: Prince Flambé.
If Prince and his dancers could dance and perform on heels through a rainstorm, Grossman should manage the snap from center.
The Bears will win when the Blues Brothers perform at halftime.
Bee sports columnist Ron Agostini can be reached at 578-2302 or email@example.com.