You may or may not have enough time on your hands to roam the various TV network Web sites and take the quizzes and play the games found therein.
If you have, your boss probably would like to know about it.
Honestly, until this week, the Internet games I bothered to click on were few and far between. I'm not a big Web browser at home, and the sites I visit at work almost all are entertainment-specific, used to research this or that. (The rest are mostly medical when I want affirmation that my symptom du jour is, indeed, indicative of a fatal and heinous disease.)
Hence, most of the games and quizzes lurking on the network sites went unnoticed.
Oh, sure, I'd taken the quiz testing knowledge of "Sex and the City" a million years ago. I went ahead and took it again this week — all in the interest of research, boss — and scored 98 percent. According to hbo.com, that makes me a "sexpert." I'm not sure that's something to be proud of, but the result also garnered this suggestion: "You might want to consider writing your own column."
Hmmm. Maybe I will.
For the most part, though, the games and quizzes didn't hold much sway until I read in another entertainment column that "Lost" rogue Sawyer will bestow upon you your very own nickname at abc.com. Based on some silly and innocuous queries, if Sawyer and I were stranded on a deserted island right now, he'd be calling me Frosty. (I'd be checking my lipstick and calling him anything he wanted, by the way.)
That sent me cruising the TV network Web sites to see what other little time wasters were out there. Turns out there are plenty, and most are more than happy to tell you exactly the kind of person you are, based on the people on their shows.
All scientifically correct, no doubt.
If the quizzes are to be believed, I am "bubbly and fun," just like Gail, one of the judges on "Top Chef." (I always thought she was a little tightly wound, but whatever). That came from bravotv.com, as did the notion that I "bring an extra ounce of class to every event" (oh, snap, tell me something I don't know ), much like "The Real Housewives of New York City's" Luann — that's Countess de Lesseps to you.
The results weren't quite so close with the abc.com "Grey's Anatomy" quiz. That one suggested I'm simpatico with Cristina and that "your work is your life."
Uh, it's a fabulous gig, but my child might disagree, thanks.
Things were a little too close back on abc.com, though, where the "Desperate Housewives" quiz compared me closest to Bree and suggested I'm "just a bit of a control freak."
Note to friends and family: Don't even start.
The nbc.com cast quiz for "The Office" said I'm most like Pam — thankfully, because if it told me I was like Dwight, I don't think I could leave the house ever again.
Some other network sites veer more toward test-your-
knowledge quizzes rather than comparing you to a character.
The "Mad Men"-related test at amctv.com, for instance, queries your intelligence on many things 1960, the year the show — one of the best on TV ... you must watch — is set. It grills you on politics, entertainment and pop culture from that point in time, and I felt my eight out of 15 correct was fairly respectable, considering I wasn't even born yet.
The "Breaking Bad" link offers a "Chemical Code Breaker" but I got bored just reading the directions, so you'll have to figure that one out yourself.
AMC, mostly a classic-film channel, has a few other filmesque quizzes, including "Grilled About The Godfather." That was a must-take because the movie is at the top of my favorite-films-of-all-time list.
Let's just say I settled all family business with that one: a 100 percent slaying.
Visit the network Web sites so you, too, can take these incredibly scientific tests and learn all there is to know about yourself. You also might discover that you're a columnist cold-hearted enough to be nicknamed Frosty who's still a bubbly, fun, classy, workaholic control freak who knows nothing about chemistry but much about "The Godfather."
I left off sexpert. It's not so classy to brag.
Scene editor Pat Clark can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.