Popcorn? Check. Melted butter? Check. Extra napkins? Big check.
Summer movie season arrives just in time for the summer weather. And moviegoers everywhere will be cooling themselves in the air-conditioned confines of the cineplex. Armed only with tubs of popcorn bigger than their heads and sodas large enough to drown a pony, these intrepid warriors will gird themselves for big stars, big action and big laughs. A look at this summer's best offerings. (Note: All release dates are subject to change.)
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull -- Some old coot named Indy puts back on the fedora and dusts off his bullwhip to fight the Soviets for some crystal skulls. Geez, hasn't he heard of golf?
Kung Fu Panda -- Adorable pandas + kung fu = put the kids in the car, we're going to a movie. The animated feature stars the voices of Jack Black and Angelina Jolie. But who cares: Look, cute pandas!
The Incredible Hulk -- The not-so-jolly green giant is back. After a lackluster first live-action outing, the Hulk is back with a new Bruce Banner (Edward Norton) and a new nemesis, The Abomination. Can this Hulk be a smash?
The Happening -- M. Night Shyamalan. A natural disaster. Creepy happenings. You know the drill. It stars Mark Wahlberg, Zooey Deschanel and John Leguizamo.
Get Smart -- Bumbling Maxwell Smart (Steve Carrell) and the capable Agent 99 (Anne Hathaway) find bad guys and hilarity in this remake of the 1965-70 TV series. Remember to turn your shoe phones to silent once you enter the theater.
The Love Guru -- "Saturday Night Live" and "Austin Powers" alum Mike Myers stars as a Hindu-raised American guru who tries to break into the self-help business in his native land. If this were a Shyamalan film, I'd say, "I see silly accents." It also stars Justin Timberlake and Jessica Alba.
WALL·E -- It's not "The Return of Short Circuit," I swear. In the animated feature, a trash-compacting robot goes on an adventure to discover the meaning of life. Number Five never was that ambitious.
Wanted -- Angelina Jolie, James McAvoy and Morgan Freeman star as members of an elite secret society of assassins. I guess a movie about an elite secret society of butter churners wouldn't fill the seats.
Hancock -- Will Smith plays a down-on-his-luck superhero who tries to rehab his image. First starlets, now superheroes. Rehab really is the new black. It also stars Charlize Theron and Jason Bateman.
Journey to the Center of the Earth 3-D -- The Jules Verne classic gets the 3-D treatment with Brendan Fraser as an intrepid geologist headed to you-know-where.
Mamma Mia! -- The antithesis to the brooding Bat, this movie musical based on the popular Broadway musical based on the popular ABBA song stars Meryl Streep and is set in the Greek islands.
The X-Files: I Want to Believe -- Break out the flashlights. FBI agents Dana Scully and Fox Mulder are back to investigate more unexplained phenomena. The much-guarded plot is said to be a stand-alone story instead of part of the show's larger conspiracy myth. Still, expect the unexpected.
The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2 -- Those magic jeans are back for the sequel to the popular 2005 film about four high school friends. The young women are now in college, and their friendship is as strong as ever.
Hamlet 2 (limited) -- Now this is a sequel I actually can get excited about. This farce has a failed actor turned high school drama teacher lead his cast in a decidedly un-PC sequel to Shakespeare's classic play.