Monday, Oct. 19, 2009

WorkWise: Self-talk, audible or not, aids job

Self-talk enables you to increase your self-confidence during a job search and many other times. It’s more grounded in reality than boasting. You may be silent when you use it, although some people find that vocalizing their thoughts helps them reach their objectives.

CONCEPT

Guy Gage of PartnersCoach in Bridgeport, W. Va., is a licensed counselor who helps individuals and management teams improve their behavior so they’re more successful. He maintains that self-talk is essential, “because your viewpoint or perceptions drive your behavior. Your self-talk is the voice of your perceptions.” His perspective is a little different. Gage states that you must identify “your offering and seek opportunities to express it. The focus is less on finding any job and more about finding a place to . . .” use what you bring to the workplace.

Chuck Sink, executive vice president of the interactive multimedia firm Big Hit Media L.L.C., in Barrington, N.H., insists on focus to eliminate tasks and activities that don’t help you move toward your primary goal of finding a job. Activities essential to your survival are the only exception. Sink adds that through self-talk, you’ll get closer to your unique offering -- the skills, traits, experience and personality that set you apart from anyone in the marketplace.

He also points out that self-talk, to be effective, requires honesty. “If you don't have the capacity to be completely honest with yourself,” he says, “you're doomed. Do you know when you’re rationalizing your behavior?” He recommends asking yourself if you’re doing everything possible “to offer value to the marketplace and win the position.”

APPLICATION

Self-talk is essential for interviews, according to John Sovec of John Sovec Therapy and Counseling in Pasadena, Calif. As an employee of Disneyland, he improved the interviewing skills of applicants so that when they moved forward in the system, they’d be more successful. As a therapist today, he strives to “draw down negative voices most of us carry around with us.”

Sovec states that many people sabotage themselves with negative self-talk prior to interviews. “This happens with ideas from past experiences or questions about whether they’re the perfect match for the job they’re seeking,” he comments. “They’re already apologizing for themselves, giving the impression that they’re not good enough or the right person for the job.”

You can make self-talk work for you if you practice at home, particularly if you do so on a regular basis. Gage advocates supplanting negative self-talk by asking yourself which traits and characteristics you should use to best portray yourself, then turning those into positive statements about your “best” self in the present tense. Here are two examples: “I am an engaging person who makes people feel at ease” and “I have the ability to communicate effectively.”

Give your interviewing confidence a chance to skyrocket -- and yourself a chance to chuckle -- by pointing out to yourself that you’ll do “a huge favor for the employer if you’re the perfect match for the job and you’re hired today, because his work is done,” Sovec suggests. Doing so requires you to believe in your strengths and present them in a very positive manner. This subtle shift can help convert the interviewer to an ally so that the two of you can collaborate in solving his problem, the need to fill the position, and yours, the need to have it.

Sovec also recommends reinforcing your positive self-talk by arriving at the interview a little early and sitting in your car to review it. “Reconnect with it so you can carry it into the doorway with you,” he says.

If self-talk seems difficult, remind yourself that “every day is a brand new opportunity and every morning is a very good time to reaffirm your goals and have a self-talk session,” Sink mentions. Take care of it first. Then go out into your day. See what a difference your schedule, focus and drive will make.

Dr. Mildred L. Culp welcomes your questions at culp@workwise.net. Copyright 2009 Passage Media.