Friday, Aug. 22, 2008

Wait. Is this the Olympics or a beach party?

For these last two weeks we at home have been treated to a look into the secret chambers of the temple of the gods.

Forget the movie stars in padded suits decked out like make-believe superheroes on the silver screen. What we've got on TV is as close as we'll see to the real thing when it comes to the human form.

The Olympics have been awe inspiring, for sure. And, for this couch potato, it's been one of those reminders that not all humans are made of the same stuff.

Sure, theoretically I could train countless hours each week, work my body into peak physical form, dedicate myself to one athletic pursuit and have the extra luck of being genetically gifted.

But in reality? Yeah, pass me the cheese doodles.

For the National Association of Broadcasters and other media outlets, the question has been not only how to cover the Herculean feats of these Greek gods on earth, but how to deal with what is clearly their pleasing physical forms.

From the female beach volleyball players' barely-there bikini uniforms to superhuman swimming sensation Michael Phelps, the question remains. Are they amazing athletes or are they smoking hotties?

The response has often been, well, both.

Take this charming Foxnews.com headline about United States gymnast Alicia Sacramone from earlier this week: "Gymnast Alicia Sacramone an Internet 'Hottie' Despite Screwups"

Sacramone was the veteran on the U.S. team and its captain whose falls in the team competition contributed to the team winning the silver instead of the gold. She is among the most elite of elite in gymnastics.

But thanks, Fox, for boiling all those years and years of hard work and an enormous personal disappointment into a simple lesson in objectification.

The selling of these games has been a bit of both. It's not for nothing that Olympic officials decided many years ago to switch women's beach volleyball uniforms to bikini bottoms and tops. Their male counterparts, however, aren't running around in little swim briefs. No, they wear baggy shorts and loose tank tops.

Not that I'm calling for the wholesale switch to itsy-bitsy Speedos for the fellas. The Olympics should have a modicum more decorum than, say, any given beach in St. Tropez.

But while we're on the topic of beach volleyball and decorum, should the Olympics really employ scantily-clad, grinding go-go dancing cheerleaders to entertain crows at the matches?

Shouldn't the game and its amazing athletes be enough? Does sex have to sell everything?

Perhaps I'm just one of those dreamers who thinks that not every major event in life should be accompanied by gyrating go-go dancers. I fear I'm in the minority.

Elsewhere around the Scene:

Be sure to check out Modesto's own Peaceable Jones with Delaware punk band Left Alone on Sunday at the Fat Cat Music House & Lounge.

Also playing the punk event will be Punks Del Norte and Protoman. Left Alone's lead singer, Elvis Cortez, produced Peaceable Jones' new CD, "A Chorus of Fools," released last month. The CD contains 11 original tracks and was produced and released by Smelvis Records.

Show starts at 8 p.m. Tickets are $8. Call 524-1400. Visit myspace.com/peaceable

jones. …

Be a part of the final Music Over Meth show Thursday at the Queen Bean in Modesto.

The Center for Human Services' Methamphetamine Action Team has sponsored a series of live, local shows at the Queen Bean since May to raise awareness of the meth problem. This is the final of four shows. Playing will be the Leverone Family and Dave Hanley Band. Admission is free. …

And finally, tune in to see former Modesto and Sonora resident Derrick Barry and the rest of the top 40 finalists as "America's Got Talent" begins live eliminations this week.

The NBC reality show, which has been on hiatus for the Olympics, returns at 8 p.m. Tuesday. Contestants will go before judges Piers Morgan, David Hasselhoff and Sharon Osbourne in live rounds.

Barry, a 24-year-old 2001 Beyer High School graduate, performed as Britney Spears for the judges in early rounds. He impersonates the pop starlet as part of the Las Vegas show "An Evening at La Cage" at the Riviera Hotel and Casino. Visit www.nbc.com/Americas_Got_Talent.

Bee entertainment writer Marijke Rowland can be reached at mrowland@modbee.com or 578-2284. Read her blog SceneIt at thehive.modbee.com/sceneit.