I have ordained myself the unofficial United States travel ambassador. I work very hard in my position. I sample as many gastronomical delights from various countries as I can, maintaining a cheery disposition, even when arguing with non-English-speaking waiters, and insisting, upon returning to America, that everyone in foreign lands is wonderful and welcoming. Yes, even the French.
I was talking to my father on the phone the other day when I announced, "I made pasta for dinner tonight."
Apparently, bullet belts are the new black. Actually, black is the new black -- bullet belts are merely an accessory, serving to further highlight the deep and utter blackness of the black. When Vogue told me that safari prints and bright colors are in this season, they were referring to a realm other than the punk world, which is where I found myself when I walked through the entrance at 924 Gilman St., the club where Green Day (ask your kids) got its start.