Clark: A little angel came to keep away 'Idol' demons

By Pat Clark
pclark@modbee.com

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I was on the receiving end of divine intervention last week.

It's the only explanation for being spared watching the degradation of an actual '80s guitar hero as he joined a long and esteemed list of artists who have lowered themselves to appear on "American Idol."

Oh, Slash, how has it come to this?

The divine intervention seemly came because our satellite is on a mini-fritz — again. "Idol" didn't tape last Tuesday because we forgot to switch its programming from our nonfunctioning HD station to the functioning regular TV.

Gratitude all around.

It did remind me, though, that I have managed this entire "Idol" season to avoid whining and grousing.

I haven not waxed on about how miserable it's been to suffer through this inexplicably popular talent show because SOMEONE in my household is as addicted to it as the other tens of millions of fans out there.

I have shunned grumbling about how new judge Kara seems to blather on in her critiques for no other apparent reason than being deeply mesmerized by the sound of her own voice.

I have refrained from mentioning that if Paula Abdul wants America to stop thinking she's either insane or high, she should actually stop acting insane or high.

There's been no grousing that judge Randy Jackson desperately needs to buy a new schtick, Dawg.

And I have held back remarks that contestant Adam Lambert's paint-by-

numbers glam-punk look is the visual equivalent of a sweaty, limp handshake.

(Note to Lambert: Adam Ant called and he wants his persona back.)

Up until now, that is.

Blame Slash.

Slash appearing on "Idol" certainly is no where near as emotionally scarring as when my beloved Bono pimped out his celebrity for the show. Still, learning the Guns 'N' Roses guitarist was last week's mentoring artist was a cold slap.

Slash always has been a rock star conundrum. Sure, he looks like one of those burnouts from high school who used to hang out in the back-campus smoking area, acting oh-so cool in a mute kind of way; a guy you can't help wondering about, even though you wouldn't want to touch him without quick access to running water and copious amounts of soap.

I have a girlfriend who had a bit of a crush on Slash back in the day. I teased her for it — until, that is, I saw him in the Guns 'N' Roses video for "November Rain."

There simply was no denying the sheer sexuality in that video image of Slash, in skin-tight jeans and bare-chested under a black leather jacket, swaggering out of a tiny white church onto a barren landscape and then wailing away on his low-slung guitar.

An MTV moment, to be sure.

Watching him on "Idol" would completely shatter that rock mystique memory.

Hence, much gratitude for that big divine hug last week. Of course, by the time you read this, another week will have passed and only a single week of the season remains.

I'm even more grateful for that.

• • •

Elsewhere around the Scene: There are a couple of opportunities to enjoy yourself while supporting good causes on Saturday.

First up is a morning of Great Strides, a fund-raiser for the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation. Great Strides is the foundation's nationwide annual benefit walk and raises money to support cure-seeking research. The Modesto leg of the walk is Saturday at Modesto Junior College. Registration begins at 8 a.m. You can register online at www.cff.org/great_strides. For more, call 415-989-6500.

After getting your exercise, give a little more and enjoy some great music at the same time at the Blues Jam 2009 concert to benefit the Parent Resource Center. The center was gutted by fire last month and all profits from the Central Valley Music Group-sponsored event will go to the child abuse prevention agency. Featured blues artists include Zakiya Hooker — daughter of legend John Lee Hooker — The Great Ooglee Mooglee Blues Band, Marirose & the Gypsies and No Taboo. Tickets are $8 and doors open at 6 p.m. at the Fat Cat Music House and Lounge, 930 11th St., Modesto.

Also Saturday is a return appearance by local favorite Sneeky Pete at the West Side Theatre. The rock veterans perform old and new favorites. Doors open at 7 p.m., show at 8, at the theater, 1331 Main St., Newman. Tickets are $10. For more, see www.westsidetheatre.org or call 862-4490.

Here's a heads-up on an early Memorial Day weekend event — the Central Valley Knights third annual Car Show. The

May 22 show is at the Regal Theatres, 3969 McHenry Ave, Modesto. Open to all cars and motorcycles, there also will be live music, a raffle, food booths and more. Proceeds benefit the Veterans Counseling Center on Carpenter Road. The event runs from 5 to 9 p.m. and admission is free (car entry $20). For more, call Patrick at 526-6537.