Ed Brault: Playing with a full deck

November 20, 2013 

Currently I have 493 cards in my wallet, and not one is a credit card. It seems that every business in town wants you to have a card. I have cards from several pharmacies, two cards from Costco, a Social Security card, and cards from all Turlock supermarkets.

Since I am filthy rich, I have a card from each of Turlock’s approximately 12 banks. I have an AARP card, and a senior pass card. Of course I have a driver’s license. Since I am a rabid tea partyer, they gave me two cards. I am equally as rabid about ecology, so the Sierra Club gave me a card. I also have cards from the ACLU, the NRA, and the Retired Teachers’ Association. When the cashier at Raley’s asks for my card, it takes me 20 minutes to dig it out of the pack. I have a card for United Health Care.

I tried to get a card from the Democratic Party, but they were adamant in their refusal. They suspect that I am a closet Republican. I have an appointment with my cardiologist on Friday.

ED BRAULT

Turlock

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