So, ladies, a question: If you had the body of a hot celebrity oh, say Gwyneth Paltrow's, for instance would you dress in some of the oh-so-revealing garb that many of them wear out in public?
(Guys, you can answer, too, no judgment. But, for the most part, it's a question for the gals.)
We're not talking on screen or for a magazine shoot; that's just part of the job for celebrities. We're talking about out in the real world or at least the semireal world of red carpets and major Hollywood events.
I ask because sometimes actresses head out in some seriously peek-a-boo stuff and, frankly, even with those taut, cut, Hollywood bods, it's not always attractive.
Good for a little shock value, sure. But attractive? Think Jennifer Lopez and that infamous teeny-tiny piece of torn green cloth she wore back in 2000 to the Grammy Awards. It wasn't even kind of pretty.
Paltrow raised this question after showing up on the red carpet at an "Iron Man 3" première last week in a gown that was completely see-through on both sides, from waist to the floor. And not just in a are-those-really-her-hips? sort of way. This was a clear, see-it-all helloooo, bootie! kind of thing.
And, honestly, as gorgeous as Paltrow is and she is, her legs and backside are lovely formed examples of womanhood, as all clearly now know it wasn't exactly what I'd call pretty. Revealing, yes. Sexy, maybe. But pretty? Not really.
Because it came off sort of sad and desperate.
Sure, sure, she was just named the world's most beautiful woman by People maga-zine, so sad and desper-ate about her appear-ance seems like a stretch. Yet her answer when asked about why she wore that particular dress was almost as revealing about her psyche as the gown was about her curves: she said she picked the dress because the front looked like something a superhero would wear.
Uhhhhhhhhhh ... huh?
Seriously? You walk out in front of the world's cameras at one of the biggest movie premières of the blockbuster season in a dress clearly designed for maximus gluteus exposure and we're supposed to believe you wore it simply because you wanted to look like a superhero?
Methinks there's some protesting going on there.
First of all, it didn't look like anything a superhero would wear. In fact, the funny thing about that dress is how frumpy it actually was from the front. From that angle, with its awkward-length elephant sleeves, it looked like something a 75-year-old socialite would wear to the Met. You couldn't necessarily tell, in photos anyway, that the side material had gone missing. But superhero was not the message there.
Mostly, there was a taste level that was at issue. Paltrow long has been one of the most tastefully outfitted women in Hollywood. But the dress did not suggest that at all.
Plus, Paltrow just turned 40. Women over a certain age 40, for instance know there possibly could be some midlife-crisis stuff going on there; as in, "I'm 40 now, how much longer can I pull off revealing too much skin and more to all the world before it starts to just look sad?"
The answer, as far as Paltrow's dress is concerned, is "no longer." The jig is up on that one.
Except it doesn't have to be. A 40-plus-year-old woman certainly still can pull off sexy clothes if her body's on board. If Paltrow had worn a dress with a slim, super-low-cut front, or a skirt with a super-high-cut slit, it would have seemed completely normal. Sexy. Tasteful. Befitting the world's most beautiful woman, no matter her age.
It was just that particular dress that felt like a stretch, like a desperate cry for affirmation.
Then again, it could be just me.
After all, the thought of wearing a dress like that in public is about as far-fetched an idea as I can conjure, so I may be coming from a jaded place.
Maybe Paltrow really did just want to look like a superhero at the première of her superhero film. Maybe she didn't think the side(less) panels would be that big of a deal. Maybe it's my issues, not hers.
So, ladies, would you wear that dress if you had a body like Paltrow's?
The end of the race was reached Sunday for former Modestan Meghan Camarena and partner Joey Graceffa on "The Amazing Race."
The duo had a target on their backs all season and finally fell victim to their competitors' dealings. It was a job well done for the local girl, nonetheless.