MODESTO — Reading time, two minutes:
Welcome, sports fans, to the best fortnight of the year: The NCAA Final Four, Opening Day in baseball, and the Masters.
And we almost forgot the Oakdale Rodeo (April 13-14)!
I want to be Florida Gulf Coast coach Andy Enfield in my next life: Successful businessman, charismatic recruiter and coach, shot-doctor, confidence bursting from every pore.
Friday night's loss aside, Enfield belongs in one of those Dos Equis commercials featuring "the most interesting man in the world."
The Dow Jones freefalls when Enfield sneezes.
Flowers tilt toward him rather than the sun.
Vintage winemakers stamp his face on their labels.
When his children are born, white smoke rises from his chimney.
And the school president asks, "Cream or black?"
The Giants have locked up the franchise's core with Buster Posey, Matt Cain, Bruce Bochy, Brian Sabean and Madison Bumgarner. In danger of being de-cored if he doesn't bounce back this season: Tim Lincecum.
Posey's perfect leverage: When he's healthy, the Giants win championships.
Run that by me again: The Cowboys handed $55 million in guaranteed money to a quarterback (Tony Romo) who's won one (1) playoff game?
Lindsey Vonn, the World Cup downhill champion and Tiger Woods' girlfriend, deserves credit. She's comfortable enough in her own skin to stand by him.
Sorry, Tiger fans and Nike types, winning even six times over the last year doesn't take care of everything.
Cal State Stanislaus will celebrate the 40-year anniversary of Title IX and the late Jim Hanny (via a dinner) this spring. Nice ideas both.
The Giants' Pablo Sandoval enters another season overweight. The injuries to his hands and elbows are ongoing. Next come the breakdowns to his legs.
Meanwhile, Detroit's Justin Verlander thinks, "His bat speed looked fine to me."
The Giants, the World Series champions in 2010 and 2012, open with three games at Dodger Stadium (no flags in 25 years). Anyone see a problem here?
Applying the same argument: Baylor's Brittney Griner, the star on last year's championship team who's only the most difference-making player in the history of collegiate women's hoops, almost always receives secondary treatment on ESPN behind UConn, the network's home team.
Many Raider fans think they'll go 4-12 with or without Carson Palmer. So why pay him $13 million?
This month marks the 20th anniversary of Columbia College's remarkable state community college basketball title.
For skeptics only: Between 1988 and '96, few teams in the state won as much as the Claim Jumpers.
Want further proof? Talk to Chabot coach Denny Aye, who orchestrated that championship season. Or even Cal State San Marcos coach Jim Saia, who sustained Columbia's excellence from 1994 to '96.
Modesto's two-time Olympic gold medalist rower Erin Cafaro will be inducted to the Modesto High Hall of Fame next month. I'd say she has the credentials.
Thirty years have passed since North Carolina State's miraculous NCAA title keyed by Lorenzo Charles' slam and Jim Valvano's dream. But we remember a reserve on that team Alvin Battle (Merced College).
ESPN's recent 30-for-30 documentary on the 1983 Wolfpack showed Battle, 6-foot-7, blocking an attempted slam by Virgina's 7-4 Ralph Sampson. Battle's grandkids will know that story.
UCLA has played its best card by hiring Steve Alford, the last guy from the state of Indiana to lead the Bruins since. ... John Wooden.
Can't wait for the next two weeks, but: The last 10 days haven't been too bad.
Bee staff writer Ron Agostini can be reached at email@example.com or (209) 578-2302. Follow Ron via Twitter at modbeesports.com