JARDINE: Modesto motorists far too busy to drive

From the emails, voice mails and eyeballs:

DISTRACTED DRIVERS — Some Northern California law enforcement agencies are participating in a nationwide crackdown on distracted driving this week.

They're going after people on hand-held cell phones, those texting while driving and also folks who are paying more attention to the dripping condiments from an all-beef double cheeseburger than to the road ahead.

Or they're applying makeup. Or they're reading books or newspapers.

Driving into Modesto on Monday, I turned west onto Parker Road (which becomes Briggsmore Avenue near the Amtrak station). Though this crackdown is taking place primarily in Sacramento and San Joaquin Valley counties, it came to mind when I saw a Modesto police officer heading east on Parker with his red "pull over" lamp up and ready to use. He scanned the vehicles up ahead.

He should have looked into one of his rearview mirrors. Why? Drivers in three of the first five cars behind him were talking on their cell phones.

And he missed the woman applying eye liner while driving directly behind me.

Distracted? No, the driving part didn't bother her at all. She put on the makeup with no problems whatsoever.

HELP WANTED — There's a job opening at California State University, Stanislaus. The Associated Students Inc., is looking for a new Titus the Warrior, the school's mascot. You merely need to be a student in good standing at the college, available to work nights and weekends, bursting with school spirit, and be a people person with a creative streak.

The job pays $8.75 an hour which, in cheerleader lingo, is two bits … no, four bits … no, make that six bits above the state's minimum wage.

You need to look good in Spartan/Trojan-style gear, including the helmet.

If Titus is the inner you just waiting to emerge, contact Lyzz Zaragoza in the Warrior Activities Center at (209) 667-3772.

Opportunity abounds, Zaragoza said.

"We have a couple of interviews scheduled (today)," she said. "But no, we were not swamped with applications."

MODESTO ROOTS — Reader Jason Gordo points out that 15-year-old Alyssa Klinzing, crowned Miss Teen Kansas 2013 in December, is a Modesto native. Indeed, she was born Nov. 29, 1997, at Doctors Medical Center. Her mom, Stacey Klinzing LeValley, graduated from Davis High in 1993 and attended Modesto Junior College before moving to Olathe, Kan., nine years ago.

Alyssa will represent Kansas in the Miss Teen USA pageant this summer.

SOCIAL MEDIA MOMENT — Over the weekend, my daughter decided my Facebook profile photo needed updating. The old one was taken circa 2007, when I sat at a different desk in The Bee's newsroom and I weighed, oh, a couple of pounds more.

She found a newer version and tried to make the switch, but it cropped off the top of my head (not good) and at least one of the chins (no complaint there).

So she restored the original photo. Over the next few hours, the new old photo drew 52 "likes" and 14 comments — for the same mug that's been there much as long as I've been on Facebook.

My "friends" were far too kind to demand a different one, unlike some Bee readers who did and became the topic of a 2006 column.

FUMBLE — A mistake in my Sunday column about the Kreifels family: Cody Ball was among Downey High's triumvirate of 1,000-yard rushers in 2007 that included Jesse Kreifels and Joe Byous. A wrong first name for Ball appeared in the column.

Jeff Jardine's column appears Sundays, Tuesdays and Thursdays in Local News. He can be reached at jjardine@modbee.com, @jeffjardine57 on Twitter or at (209) 578-2383.