AGOSTINI: Prep football season beckons

Reading time, two minutes:

• High school football fans know what this means: T-minus five days before Week Zero.

• It must be fun when they're already under way before Week One.

• Football before Labor Day, you ask? Heck, there's almost a month of school before Labor Day.

• The Modesto Nuts' Kyle Parker has averaged a homer per game this week. The team has averaged nearly a thrill per game this week.

• The 49ers' Fanfest outdrew their first preseason game. In my book, a no-brainer.

• While London closed the Games: Rory McIlroy became the first player from the U.K. since Tommy Armour in 1930 to win the PGA.

• The Olympics have been finished for a week, and I still don't think McKayla is impressed.

• They always keep score in the Bay Area: Cal 17 Olympic medals, Stanford 16.

• Like her or dislike her, but Hope Solo saved that gold medal for the USA.

• How fast they fall: Tiger Woods, the late Joe Paterno and Melky Cabrera.

• And you think baseball has cleansed itself of performance-enhancing drugs? Think again.

• Cabrera could return to the Giants during the playoffs. Two words: Fat chance.

• A scenario: The Giants scratch and scramble to a division title, and then they welcome back the guy who turned their season upside-down?

• Cabrera was a venture-capitalist in spikes — took a major calculated risk and lost millions.

• Can't help but ask the Giants that old question: What did they know and when did they know it?

• Not clear on the concept: The Nationals' Stephen Strasburg, throwing effortless 95-mph fastballs past the Giants this week, will be shut down as a precaution? For the team that has the best record in baseball?

• Memo to the Nats: This is why your pitchers undergo Tommy John surgery. The window is open. It doesn't stay open for long.

• And from Bill Parcells: "This is why you lift all those weights!"

• And our favorite from Herman Edwards: "You play to win the game!"

• The Nationals franchise hasn't reached the postseason since 1933. These aren't your daddy's Nats. Or your grand-daddy's.

• Former Athletics manager Art Howe, upset over his brutal portrayal by Phillip Seymour Hoffman in "Moneyball," nearly blew off the anniversary of their 20-game winning streak. I wouldn't have blamed him.

• Brian Urlacher underwent arthroscopic knee surgery and broke up with Jenny McCarthy. Just guessing Bears fans won't sweat the latter.

• Dennis Allen is the first Raiders head coach with defense credentials since John Madden. Didn't Madden turn out OK?

• Advice regarding Notre Dame's special uniforms for their game in Ireland: Burn them before you come home.

• USC is ranked the preseason No. 1. What happened to those vicious sanctions?

• Two reasons why the Trojans are on top: Matt Barkley stayed, and LSU's Tyrann Mathieu is gone.

• Riverbank's German Fernandez, the newest member of the Nike running team, deserves a good break or two.

• Five days before kickoff. I feel the need ... the need for ... barbecue tri-tip!

Bee staff writer Ron Agostini can be reached at ragostini@modbee.com or 209) 578-2302.