A year ago, the Grand Poobahs of my fantasy league came up with the smashing idea to honor our baseball and football champions with trophies commemorating their landmark achievements and celebrating their superior intelligence.
It was decided that each year our winners will have their names engraved on these majestic symbols of greatness and retain their rights until a new champion is crowned.
My 2010 football trophy has been a fixture in the living room since April, displayed proudly atop the entertainment center between the picture of Jim Plunkett and I and my "Synchro Motion" John "Bluto" Blutarsky action figure.
Two more wins will allow me to keep my precious trophy another year and have my name engraved on it a third time.
I'm the leader in the clubhouse after 14 weeks, but there are no cupcakes left on the schedule.
Being the eternal optimist, I don't fear my team, which has averaged 1,200 points per week, dropping a 400-point diddly pooh job on me, but rather see a squad that has been good but has yet to be great.
Drew Brees has been spectacular, and David Akers and Marques Colston have been models of consistency, but the rest of my crew has run hot and cold week to week.
• A.J. Green has been very good but hasn't had that signature 10-catch, two- touchdown game.
• Michael Bush's contributions have softened the blow of losing Fred Jackson, but he hasn't topped the 100-yard mark in four weeks.
• Jason Witten and Steve Smith have solid overall numbers, but each has been hit-and-miss for going on a month now.
Going in, I knew Smith would be the key to me living to see Week 16.
I need Smith to snag six or seven balls for 80-plus yards and find his way back into the end zone for the first time in a month. Smith plays best when he's angry, so I was delighted to hear him rip into the media for drooling over Tim Tebow and largely ignoring his boy Cam Newton. You better believe Smith has given his rookie QB orders to find him and find him often.
Play 'em
Bengals: The Bengals should send candy and flowers to NFL schedule makers for sending them to St. Louis this week. The Bengals are playing for their playoff lives and will be indoors against a lousy opponent, a winning fantasy combo that makes Green and Cedric Benson must starts. Rookie QB Andy Dalton also has huge upside here and could do today what Ryan Grant did a week ago (you're all welcome).
My opponent this week likely will roll with Dalton because of Ben Roethlisberger's bum ankle, but either way I'm covered. If he plays, Roethlisberger will be on one leg against an unforgiving 49ers defense, and if Dalton gets the call, a big game will surely have Green's stamp on it.
Lions: The Raiders fan in me wants Carson Palmer to light up Detroit and nudge Oakland closer to its first postseason berth since the French Revolution. The inner fantasy Benedict Arnold is hoping Palmer plays catch with the other team and spends another afternoon on his back. Ndamukong Suh's return makes that a distinct possibility.
Offensively, the Lions could threaten 50 points by halftime against the Raiders' matador "D." Matthew Stafford, Calvin Johnson, Brandon Pettigrew and Kevin Smith should all be active and approach, if not surpass, their most productive games.
My playoff semifinals lineup — QB: Sir Drew Brees (at Vikings); RB: Michael Bush (Lions); WR: Marques Colston (at Vikings), Steve Smith (at Texans) and Adriel Jeremiah Green (at Rams); TE: Jason Witten (at Buccaneers); D/ST: Lions; K: David Akers.
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